Unshakable
by faith-chan11
Summary: It's obvious to everyone that Makoto and Haru are in love with each other. But being as oblivious as they are, doubt and insecurity hold them back them from confessing. Shifting into a new phase in their relationship is a dangerous move, and neither of them is willing to risk losing their other half. But when everything comes crashing down, will their love still prevail?
1. Gaze

**(Haru's POV)**

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Haru stared at Makoto longingly from across the pool. The taller boy was discussing some sort of training regimen or something with Gou. Makoto's brows furrowed in concentration at whatever the two were talking about. Haru knew the expression well, but then again, Haru could easily picture all of Makoto's expressions in his mind, all matching a certain emotion or message. Haru's eyes wandered to Makoto's legs. When had he gotten so tall? When they were kids, they were almost the same size, but now it seemed that Makoto just kept growing and growing while Haru was quite sure that he was going to be stuck with his annoyingly short height forever. Not to mention that Makoto's swimsuit hugged his muscles _way too_ well, emphasizing his sculpted calves.

Haru knew he was too far gone when he glanced to Makoto's broad shoulders, imagining the rippling back muscles being shrouded by his Iwatobi jacket. That messy olive-brown hair that complimented him so well, his beautiful, angelic laugh that Haru could listen to forever, that self sacrificial, kind heart, those emerald green eyes staring at him-

Haru almost jumped out of his skin when he finally realized Makoto was staring back at him. How long had Makoto been watching him?! Makoto tilted his head to the side with one of those heart melting, cavity inducing, signature smiles. His eyes just seemed to radiate love and affection and all things pure; Haru's brain couldn't handle it all at once and tried to pretend like it didn't happen, like it was just a figment of his imagination. He looked away to the side, trying hopelessly to act like he hadn't just been staring at his best friend. He avoided the green eyes that were surely watching the blush creeping down his neck and his mortified blue eyes. Almost on cue, Haru heard a tiny, muffled giggle matching the expression Haru imagined that Makoto wore right now, and it wasn't a mocking one, it was affectionate.

Haru huffed and moved to the edge of the pool, regretting letting himself indulge on watching Makoto like a stalker, and wishing he had just dived in as soon as they got there. He was just about to dive in when he felt a hand circle around his arm, stopping him from proceeding. He shot a glare at the red haired detainer. Rin wore such a smug, annoying grin that Haru rolled his eyes. He was already starting to regret these joint practices between Iwatobi and Samezuka.

"Let go." Haru said harshly. After such an embarrassment, all he wanted was to feel the calming water against skin and pretend this never happened.

Rin just chuckled and shook his head. "You thought you were so slick! You two are so clueless. Just get married already!"

Haru's eyes widened in shock and he felt his cheeks warm up. Rin saw that?! Was it that noticeable?! Haru groaned internally; If Rin had noticed his display of affection, then how many others had? He just hoped Nagisa hadn't seen him; He'd never hear the end of it.

Rin broke out into a loud guffaw. "You're blushing!"

"Shut up. I came here to swim." Haru tried to push Rin away, to no avail. Upper body strength wasn't really his strong suit.

"Are you sure? Seems like you came to check out your boyfriend." Rin was still grinning.

"I said be quiet, asshole! I think your mouth would be put to better use by your boyfriend." Haru spitefully shot back.

Rin's grip on his arm eased up a little and his face reddened, almost matching his fiery hair. "Son of a-"

Haru didn't let him finish. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to swim." He returned to a diving position before he felt Rin grip his arm again.

"Wait! Wait! That's not what I meant to talk to you about, I'll admit, I deserved that one." The red eyed boy was chuckling slightly.

"Then say it." Haru was growing very impatient. He was wasting precious time that could be better spent in the water.

"Seriously... When are you going to confess to Makoto? I can't stand watching you two, I mean, it's gotten annoyingly obvious! You just need to fucking make a move!"

Haru glared for what he felt like the millionth time today. "It's none of your business, Rin. And if it's so easy, then why haven't you done it with Sousuke?"

Rin used his free hand to scratch the back of his neck and dropped his voice a little lower, blush consuming his face. "I-I don't like him like that..."

It was an obvious lie.

Haru scoffed without humor. "Right. Now let go."

"Damn, Haru! Listen to me! If you don't make a move now, then what's gonna happen at the end of this year when he goes to college? What if he finds someone else-"

Haru already began to picture that stupid cotton candy haired idiot and couldn't bear to hear any more. "Makoto would never do that! If you don't plan to do anything with Sousuke, then don't put pressure on me! Now shut up and let me swim!"

Rin was quite sure he had struck Haru's final nerve, so he tried to be concise. "Can you just let me talk?! The point is that you need to get your shit together and do something! He's not going to sit around and wait for you forever!"

Both of them knew probably wasn't true. Makoto was the type that was just patient like that; And he didn't give up on things that were important to him, especially not friends, or... lovers?

"You have no idea what you're talking about! What about you? Quit telling me what to do when you don't even know what to do for yourself!"

Rin flashed a shark toothed grin. The kind he only used when he was fired up or thought of a devilish plan. "Is that so? Then let's have a pact. We both confess by the end of this year."

"I don't need your help! It'll happen whenever it happens, and I don't need you screwing things up!"

Rin shrugged. "Fine. Don't come crying to me when you find Makoto and _Kisumi_ f-"

Haru did not care to find out what he would find Makoto and Kisumi doing, in fact it made him want to throw up. He would NOT let that happen. He just needed to swim and forget about it all, and something finally snapped inside of him. "Fine! Now let me go!"

Rin wore a smug expression at his triumph. "Alright, but I'm going to hold you to your promise." Rin released Haru's arm and the raven haired boy immediately jumped into the water.

Haru sighed in relief at the feeling of his entire body immersed in the soothing liquid. Everyday before he started training, he would leisurely let his fingers glide through the water for a while, admiring the calming sensation. It was such a relief from the stupid antics Rin spewed into his mind.

People always thought Haru was so strange, always hiding away in the water, but to him, it made perfect sense.

The water didn't judge him.

The water calmed him.

The water didn't leave him.

The water provided refuge.

The water was a constant in his life.

People came and went, but water was always there for him.

But more importantly, Makoto.

Makoto showed him the beauty of water.

Makoto always understood him, without him even having to say anything.

Makoto gave him unconditional love and support no matter what.

Makoto was a constant in his life.

And it was Makoto who he was desperately in love with.

Makoto was more important than water, without a doubt.

But Haru felt deeply disturbed at what Rin had just said. The thought had always been lurking in the back of his mind, but he always suppressed it. But then Rin came along and slapped it front and foremost in his face.

Makoto could leave.

He wasn't like the water.

He had a mind and dreams of his own.

Makoto might not love him that way.

Haru sighed. Damn Rin. He didn't want to think about that anymore. His late grandmother always said that fate is fate and whatever happens, happens. There is nothing anyone can do to change it. He sighed again. Surely it was he and Makoto's fate to be together. It was like they were made for each other; It was natural. Surely.

Haru quickly snuck a glance at Makoto out of the corner of his eye and was taken aback to see that Makoto was staring at him too.

But it wasn't the usual adoring Makoto stare that always watched Haru swimming, silently conveying a message of admiration. There was something else present... Haru racked his brain, trying to find an emotion that fit Makoto's expression, and realized that Makoto wore this face far too often last year, usually when he didn't think Haru was looking. It was something more like... Sadness? Worry? Exhaustion?... Jealousy?

Haru found this particularly infuriating. Was Makoto hiding something? And he wasn't telling Haru? But the part that bothered him the most was that he couldn't figure it out himself like he usually could, just from reading his face, or hearing his voice.

Something was _horribly_ wrong here.

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 **Next chapter: Little Things**


	2. Little Things

**(Haru's POV)**

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"Good morning, Haru-chan!"

Makoto wore a heavy coat and his cheeks donned a reddish flush. Haru supposed he stayed out too long in the cold, probably petting a stray cat. The brunette smiled warmly and offered his hand to help Haru up.

Haru shook the water out of his hair before muttering a, "Drop the -chan."

Makoto giggled softly. Haru finally accepted his hand and Makoto pulled him up, just like always. It was things like this, tiny, cute, familiar moments like this that Haru loved so much. To the average person, these little gestures might seem insignificant, but to Haru, the absence of them would quite easily ruin his day.

Well, more specifically, the absence of Makoto would ruin his day.

"We need to get going or we'll be late!" Makoto handed Haru a pile of clothes to change into.

"Not until I make mackerel." Haru was stubborn about his routines. He didn't care how late he was. He was going to have his mackerel.

Makoto gave a short laugh. "I knew you would say that. My mom fixed some mackerel this morning so I brought it to you." He pulled a bento out of his backpack and handed it to him.

Haru's heart fluttered at the kind gesture, something only Makoto would think to do.

"T-thanks." He said softly, accepting the small box. He wished he could put into words how much it meant to him that Makoto was so thoughtful to do that for him... But nothing came out. He just hoped Makoto understood.

Almost answering Haru's thoughts, Makoto smiled knowingly. "No problem, Haru."

Haru stared up at him in awe, mouth half open, sapphire eyes wide, like when he's looking at a sparkling, pristine body of water.

Makoto blushed under Haru's unwavering gaze and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, with one of those adorably shy smiles. "I'll get your jacket while you change. It's really cold outside today!"

Haru snapped back into reality. Oh. Right. Change clothes. For school. That's what he's supposed to be doing. He nodded slowly and went to change.

They weren't late to class, but then again, they never were, as Makoto always made sure they were on time.

The lesson today was pretty boring in Haru's opinion, so he threw a quick glance in Makoto's direction to see if he was paying attention. Makoto seemed to be absorbed in the lesson, feverishly writing down notes. Haru thought it was safe to stare now. If Makoto saw him, Haru could always say he was just copying his notes.

Makoto's eyes were so pretty. They were so full of life and happiness, and he had such long eyelashes. Haru had come to love the color green with a passion, especially on Makoto. Haru mentally traced Makoto's lips. They were so pink and soft looking, Haru wanted to touch them with his fingertips. Or better yet, with his own lips. Haru's mouth watered.

That was a thought.

What would it feel like to kiss Makoto? His heart pounded in his eardrums because he just wanted to find out so badly. Haru knew Makoto's lips would be so pliant against his and taste so sweet. Makoto's strong arms would be wrapped around his waist and he would rest his hands around Makoto's neck. What would happen if he were to just lean over right now and-

Haru jumped slightly at the sound of the bell, ruining his daydream. It was probably better that it did, he thought. Thinking things like that are dangerous. Why did he torture himself so much? Dreaming about scenarios like that would only make the pain worse when the reality finally hit him that they would never happen. But if they did happen, was that really what he wanted? A relationship like that would be a huge step, and it could end in destruction of any kind of relationship between them. But which was better: Never telling Makoto how he really felt, or starting a romantic relationship that could change them for the worst? Both had horrible consequences. Haru winced just at the thought. He really hated change; Especially negative changes. The first one was the best, he supposed. Having Makoto in his life, even as just a friend, was immensely better than no Makoto at all. Rin's words from the other day soon wormed their way into Haru's mind, making him lightheaded. Dreams were only good for soothing pain in the present, but worsening pain in the future.

What was he even thinking?! All of this still depended on whether Makoto even liked him or not! And there was a massive chance that Makoto didn't even like him. He probably likes Kisumi, Haru mentally grumbled. That candy flossed haired airhead was charming, wealthy, attractive, talented, popular, everything Haru knew he wasn't; The list could go on. Haru sighed.

"Haru, are you coming?" Makoto wore a slightly worried expression.

Haru nodded. "Sorry. Just thinking." He pulled his backpack on his shoulders and stood up.

Makoto's expression eased a little, but Haru could tell he knew something was off.

Later that day after school, Makoto came over to study, much like he always did. Haru's house was always a lot quieter than the hustle and bustle of Makoto's home, with his parents talking and the twins causing mayhem.

"Makoto, do you want something to drink?"

"Mm, just water, please."

Haru got them both a glass of water.

"Thank you, Haru." Makoto gave him a smile like he'd just won an award, not simply gotten him a glass of water.

Haru shrugged.

"Did you get what we did in math today? I took notes but I still don't get it." Makoto's brows furrowed at his paper. Haru motioned for him to let him see his notes. Haru read through them and quickly understood, so he explained it in a simpler way. Haru loved watching Makoto's face morph into realization.

"Oh!" Makoto worked a problem out on his paper. "Like that?"

Haru reviewed it and nodded with a tiny smile.

"Thank you, Haru! I would've never figured that out. You're so smart." Makoto tilted his head to the side with a praising smile.

Haru was almost sure his cheeks were flaming red and he shrugged off the compliment. Makoto _had_ to know what it did to him when he just said such adorable things. Makoto continued to work out problems on his homework with ease, unaware that Haru was staring.

How was it possible for someone to be so kind and selfless? Makoto had to be an angel; He just had to be. He just seemed to attract people everywhere he went but was oblivious to it all, still convinced that there was nothing special about him. Haru wanted to show him different, he just wanted Makoto to be his so that he could show him that he was the most amazing person in the world, that he was worth more to Haru than life itself. He was just so gentle and pure and loving-

"Oh, Haru. It's almost time for dinner." Makoto checked his watch. "Do you want to come over to my house to eat?"

"Will there be mackerel?" Haru asked mostly joking, but with a hint of hope.

Makoto chuckled. "Is that a deciding factor?"

"No." Haru admitted.

"Well, I'm sure I can talk my mom into making some for you."

"Thanks."

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Later that night, Haru heard his phone ring. That was odd. Most everyone knew he didn't use his phone much. Makoto would just walk up the steps to his house if he needed to tell him something and his parents rarely contacted him. Then it had to be either Rin, Rei, or-

 **Nagisa:** Haru-chaaaaan! i saw you yesterday checkin out Mako-chan! (^_-)

Haru sighed. Maybe if he didn't answer, Nagisa would eventually give up.

 **Nagisa:** Haru-chan?

 **Nagisa:** DON'T IGNORE ME!

 **Nagisa:** I KNOW YOU'RE READING THESE.

 **Nagisa:** I can do this all day.

 **Nagisa:** Or maybe I'll just take the next bus to your house.

 **Nagisa:** You know, it's actually not that far of a walking distance.

Haru's eyes widened. That little blonde may look innocent, but he knew better. He was a little demon.

 **Haru:** Nagisa will you please leave me alone.

 **Nagisa:** Haha! I knew you were reading my texts~! ＼(≧▽≦)／

Haru pinched the bridge of his nose. He could practically picture the smug look on Nagisa's face right now.

 **Nagisa:** Haru-chan, when are you just going to tell Mako-chan already?

 **Nagisa:** I know he likes you! You have nothing to worry about!

Haru groaned. As if it were that easy.

 **Haru:** Nagisa you don't know what you're talking about. If it were that simple I would have already done it.

 **Nagisa:** Come on Haru-chan! I thought you were brave!

 **Haru:** Well I don't see you and Rei going out yet.

 **Nagisa:**... I'm working on it...

 **Haru:** Sure.

 **Nagisa:** Don't be so mean Haru-chan! I really am trying (,╯︵╰,) Besides, It's different between you two... You've known each other forever...

Haru felt like banging his head against the wall. Why did everyone think that made everything so clear? If anything, it made it about a thousand times more complicated.

 **Haru:** You really think that makes it easier? What happens if it ruins everything? Then what? I won't even have my best friend anymore.

Haru was about to delete the whole thing, but let out a string of profanities when he accidentally pressed the send button. That was probably the first time he'd ever let his worries about starting a relationship with Makoto out in the open like that.

 **Nagisa:** That would never happen Haru-chan... You and Mako-chan know each other inside and out... I know it would work out.

 **Haru:** That's not a chance I'm willing to take.

 **Nagisa:** Even if it somehow didn't work out, I know Mako-chan would never leave you.

Haru sighed. Nagisa had an immature idea of relationships; Even if they could somehow be able maintain a friendship after breaking up, they would be different. It would feel awkward. They would lose... Closeness. Trust. All those years they spent together, protecting and encouraging and supporting each other, gone. Just like that.

Haru wasn't ready for that. He never would be.

 **Haru:** I'm going to bed.

 **Nagisa:** Come on Haru-chan~! You'll never know if you don't try, right?

 **Haru:** Goodnight.

 **Nagisa:** WE'RE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS! (＞﹏＜)

Haru turned off his phone and threw it in a drawer. As far as he was concerned, they were. He laid in bed awake for a long time. Damn Nagisa. Why were all his friends such busybodies? They need to stop meddling in his love life when they haven't even settled their own! Even if they had settled their own, it still was none of their business to interfere with his!

He was done thinking about this.

For now, at least.

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 **Next chapter: Tickle**


	3. Tickle

**(Makoto's POV)**

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"Hey Haru, do you want to spend the night?"

Only Makoto could see the tiniest of smiles tug at Haru's lips. In a flash, it was gone. Butterflies took flight in Makoto's stomach; Just to think he had just witnessed one of Haru's most beautiful, rare smiles. It made him feel so special; There were only a handful of people in the world who got the privilege of seeing a genuine Haru smile.

"Sure."

To say Makoto was excited for this weekend was an understatement

Makoto couldn't help but smile back.

Without thinking, he said softly, "Your smile really is beautiful, Haru."

As soon as the words left his lips, Makoto immediately mentally cursed himself. Haru's azure eyes went as wide as dinner plates and a red tint completely engulfed his cheeks. His lips parted slightly, as if to say something, but nothing came out.

Makoto wished so badly that he could just evaporate into thin air. Why had he said that?! Haru would definitely know that he liked him now! Makoto was on the verge of tears, screaming, or banging his head on the wall. He should've thought before he said something so stupid and romantic like that! It wasn't his place to say those kinds of things to Haru.

It was Rin's.

Makoto knew that Haru liked Rin. It was easy for anyone to see.

Rin ignited a fire, a burning passion in Haru; he made him feel alive.

Makoto knew that he could never do anything like that.

It was because he was weak.

He was stupid.

He was boring.

He was useless.

Haru didn't love him, and Makoto didn't blame him. He didn't blame Rin either.

But that didn't change Makoto's love for Haru.

Even so, he shouldn't be making Haru uncomfortable by saying such cheesy, lovey-dovey things to him. Haru probably thought he was an idiot and wanted nothing to do with him, but only stuck around him out of pity. Makoto was just about to stutter an apology and probably burst into tears when-

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Haru was still blushing as he looked down. Makoto held his breath, tears threatening to spill over.

"Makoto's smile is much more beautiful than mine." Haru bit his bottom lip and quickly snuck a glance up to see Makoto's reaction.

The tears in Makoto's eyes halted altogether along with his heart.

B-beautiful? His green eyes widened.

He felt so relieved that a tiny giggle left his mouth. He shook his head in disagreement.

"Nh-mn. Not true."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Makoto." Haru playfully poked Makoto in the ticklish part of his stomach, making Makoto laugh again.

"Oh I don't?"

Makoto counterattacked by wrapping his arms around Haru from behind and tickling his stomach. Haru erupted into a giggling fit, squirming and throwing his head back against Makoto's chest in laughter. Makoto's heart fluttered; Haru was just too adorable. Just to think that the average person thought Haru was cold and emotionless, they obviously hadn't seen him when he was like this. Haru gave a half-hearted kick to Makoto's shin, making them both collide and fall to the floor. Even then, they didn't stop laughing. Makoto could barely even remember how this escalated so quickly, but he really didn't care. He just wanted to savor this moment. It was moments like these that he thought, just for a second, that maybe, just possibly, for some unknown reason, by some sliver of a tiny chance, in some crazy fantasy world, that he might have a chance with Haru.

Just maybe.

He scolded himself for even thinking like that.

Both laid on the floor, gasping for air.

"Sorry, Haru. I just had to." Makoto said with a grin.

"Idiot." Haru said, trying his best to look annoyed, but there was no hiding the kind tone in his voice.

Makoto chuckled softly, making his sides ache even more.

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That night, Haru emerged from the bathroom with slightly damp hair and he was wearing one of Makoto's oversized shirts. Makoto wondered why he even kept the shirt at his house; Haru had basically already claimed it as his own. Makoto didn't really wear it that often anymore because it was a little too small and he just honestly liked it better on Haru. Makoto gulped when Haru walked into the room. He just looked so cute in big clothes. One sleeve was slipping down his shoulder and his boxer shorts were barely visible under the hem of the long shirt.

Makoto handed Haru a controller. The raven haired boy sat down next to him in front of the video game and after a few minutes the round was over, and Haru was the victor.

"You let me win, didn't you?" Haru's eyes narrowed at him and his brows pulled together in discontent.

Makoto chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I really can't pull one over you."

Haru lightly hit Makoto's arm. "Idiot! Play me for real."

"Ah! Okay, okay!" Makoto restarted the game and won quickly.

After several rounds, their scores were pretty even, and Haru let out a tiny yawn. It was pretty late.

Makoto looked over. "Tired?"

Haru rubbed his eye and nodded. Makoto helped Haru up and motioned him to the bed.

"You sure?" Haru asked.

"Yeah, I'll get the futon..." He looked around the room and under his bed. "Where did I put it though?"

"I don't mind sharing the bed." Haru had already made himself comfortable, head resting on the pillow and blanket pulled up to his shoulders.

Makoto shrugged and joined him. It wouldn't be the first time they'd shared a bed and he really didn't mind. He wasn't sure about how much sleep he would get, though. He crawled in next to Haru and laid on his back, staring at the ceiling.

This felt... wrong. It felt like he was betraying Rin. Then... Why wasn't Haru uncomfortable with sharing a bed? Or... With him blatantly calling him beautiful? Or tickling him? Maybe Haru _was_ uncomfortable, and he just wasn't saying anything.

Now _that_ thought disturbed Makoto. The _last_ thing he wanted was for Haru to be suffering silently. Makoto internally groaned. Haru definitely knew he liked him. And he was disgusted.

"Goodnight, Makoto." Said a soft voice from his right.

Makoto snapped out of his thoughts and couldn't help but smile at the familiar voice. "Goodnight, Haru."

Haru closed his eyes and pulled the blanket up to his neck. It was exactly like how he slept as a child, he was even facing Makoto.

After a while, his breathing became soft and even. Makoto watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, the slight parting of his rose pink lips, the moonlight pouring in through the window illuminating his porcelain skin. Haru was without a doubt, the most beautiful person he'd ever known, and not just his physical aspects. Haru was so unique; He was so blunt, but at the same time gentle. He was so humble, he never wanted anyone to know how kind he really was, and he could never accept a compliment of any kind. Haru was just had a way of understanding people and making them feel at ease around him; He had such a calming effect. Haru was so intricately complex, but for some reason, Makoto just _understood_ him.

Haru truly was in more ways than one, _free._

Makoto suddenly became aware of the fact that he was staring and turned away. He shouldn't be so creepy like that...

But why was Haru still with him if he was disgusted? He knew Haru, and Haru was not one to silently put up with something he didn't like... Or was he?

N-no! Haru definitely was not like that. Besides, even if he was discontent, Makoto would be able to tell, right?

So... was he?

Makoto couldn't recall Haru acting unusual... Well besides the other day when he caught Haru looking at him right before he started talking to Rin at the joint practice. But that was obviously just a mere coincidence! He had just happened to look up at the same time Haru did! Haru might have only blushed because he knew it probably _looked_ like he was staring, that's all. But what about all the things that happened today? He sighed. All he could do is come to the conclusion that Haru was only being nice because he felt sorry for him.

But hypothetically of course, what if Haru didn't like Rin? What if what Nagisa kept telling him was true? What if maybe Haru _did_ like him back?

Could they even make it as a couple?

If it didn't work, then what? Could they even repair their friendship if they broke up? There was only one way to find out, and Makoto was not willing to venture that far into the unknown. Himself without Haru... was not something he wanted to think about.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. He needed to go to sleep. He was coming up with some crazy ideas.

As if Haru would _ever_ like him.

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 **Next chapter: Bitter Cotton Candy**


	4. Bitter Cotton Candy

**(Haru's POV)**

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"Makoto, are you coming over to study today?" Haru asked nonchalantly, but he really was hopeful that Makoto would come over.

Makoto hesitated for a second, like he had to think about it first. What did he have to think about? He came over to Haru's house everyday!

"Y-yeah. I might be a little late though. Kisumi asked me to play basketball with him." Makoto saw a look of disappointment in Haru's sapphire eyes, so he added, "You can come if you want! I-I just didn't think you liked basketball."

Haru shook his head and continued to read his book, not really interested in it, but not wanting Makoto to see the pout that was surely present on his face.

 _Kisumi._

Makoto had a date with Kisumi, was what Haru heard.

That little strawberry haired twit from middle school. Kisumi was filthy rich and good looking and he despised Haru with a burning passion.

"Are you sure?"

Haru nodded, sullen look in his blue eyes and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Is... is everything okay?" Makoto asked with concern.

Haru nodded again, remaining silent to keep from grumbling out loud.

He suddenly felt a thousand times worse when he remembered: Makoto wasn't his boyfriend. Makoto could do whatever he wanted. Makoto _could_ date Kisumi if he wanted to. Haru couldn't stop his pout at this point; He was sure it resembled that of a two year old.

There was a long silence. Haru could basically feel Makoto's tension, and could see him fidgeting out of the corner of his eye.

"Haru..." Makoto was looking down and fiddling a library book.

"What?" Haru asked a little too harshly.

"Why... why are you mad at me?" Makoto finally looked up at him with giant green puppy dog eyes.

Haru finally looked up from his book and sighed. He hadn't meant to upset him like that... "I'm not mad at you, Makoto." He said in a much softer tone and met his green eyes to make sure he knew he wasn't lying.

It almost looked like a weight had been lifted off of Makoto's shoulders. He mumbled an, "Oh," and started to fidget with the zipper on his backpack.

There was another long silence in the nearly empty school library. Haru's mind raced and his blood boiled as he just thought about what kind of tricks Kisumi would try to pull at he and Makoto's little get together this afternoon. That little demon might fake an injury so that Makoto will carry him, or ask him out, or even just reach over and _kiss_ him. Haru gripped the book with white knuckles, wishing desperately to punch something, preferably Kisumi's smug little doll face.

"Haru... Please tell me what's wrong."

Haru glanced up to see Makoto's eyebrows drawn together and his emerald eyes were full of genuine worry. Haru could tell that it deeply bothered him not knowing what was going on, and even more so not being able to help.

He sighed. Why did Makoto have to read him so easily?

"I'm just not feeling well. That's all."

Haru could feel Makoto's eyes searching his face for a trace of a lie.

"Oh. Well, maybe you should go home early today..."

Haru narrowed his eyes. And miss swim practice? He could be on the verge of _death_ and he wouldn't miss practice.

"I'm fine."

"Well... Maybe you should rest up after school." Makoto gave a sympathetic smile.

"I'll be okay, Makoto. Don't worry about it."

The bell sounded, disrupting the awkward quietness in the library. Haru and Makoto stood up in unison and headed to the next class. Haru let out a tiny sigh of relief. If that conversation had gone on much longer, Makoto probably would have pushed further and easily found out what was actually wrong with him.

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When Haru got home, he decided to make some beef curry for Makoto when he came over. Not because he wanted to show he was more caring than Kisumi or anything... He just knew Makoto would be hungry is all! He kept it on the stove to keep it warm and proceeded to pace in front of the door.

The blue eyed boy sulked. Where was he? He said a _little_ late! This was almost a half an hour late... What if Kisumi persuaded Makoto to come over to his house and have supper? What if they were making date plans? What if they were _making out_? What if Makoto had forgotten about Haru entirely?!

Haru tried to calm himself. That was ridiculous! Makoto would never do that... He wouldn't forget, right? He never forgot about their plans... Maybe Makoto changed though... What would he do if Makoto left him for Kisumi? Haru felt a weight constrict his lungs.

Suddenly, he heard the sweetest sound imaginable: a distinct knock on the door. One that could only belong to...

Haru quickly yanked the door open. "Makoto!" He exclaimed a little too excitedly. Haru had to restrain every fiber of his body from flinging himself onto the taller boy; He didn't even care that he was drenched in sweat.

Makoto chuckled. "Sorry, it's a little later than I said... Kisumi really likes to talk..."

Haru just shook his head and opened the door, basically pushing Makoto in.

"Sorry I'm so gross..." Makoto motioned to his sweaty clothes.

"You're not gross." Haru said and blotted Makoto's face with a damp towel. Haru wasn't sure if Makoto's face was just red from the physical exertion or if he was blushing.

"Y-You don't have to do that..." Makoto rubbed the back of his neck like he always did when he was feeling shy.

"Don't be stupid. You're burning up." Haru said, but only Makoto could recognize the affection in his tone.

"Thank you, Haru." Makoto offered an apologetic smile.

After a while, Haru sat the towel down and brought the curry to the table.

"Here, Makoto."

Makoto's eyes lit up at the sight of his favorite meal.

"Oh... Haru... you didn't have to..." Makoto began to smile again.

"I wanted to." Haru motioned for him to sit down.

"Thank you so much, Haru." Makoto just looked so thankful and his green eyes conveyed so much kindness.

Haru just had to look away to hide his blush. "You don't have to thank me."

Makoto laughed. "But I wanted to."

Haru sighed and sat down.

"So are you feeling better?" Makoto asked like a doting mother.

Haru nodded, but still bit his lip. He had a question gnawing at the back of his mind.

Makoto was about to take a bite until he noticed Haru's expression.

"Something wrong?"

At the same time, Haru asked, "So did you and _Kisumi_ have _fun_?"

Haru tried to ask nonchalantly, but he couldn't conceal the venom in his voice.

Both stopped to listen to what the other said.

Apparently Makoto recognized his tone also and raised an eyebrow.

"N-nothing's wrong." Haru answered quietly and fidgeted with his food.

"It was pretty fun, I guess." Makoto said a little slowly and closely watched Haru's reaction.

Haru's eye twitched. _Fun_. Makoto had _fun_ with _Kisumi_. _Kisumi_ is pretty _fun_.

"It would have been much better if Haru was there." Makoto said gently.

Haru almost choked on his food. He tried to make it unnoticeable and took a sip of water. "I suck at basketball."

Makoto shrugged. "I suck at cooking."

Haru had to smile at that. It was just too true. Makoto would probably somehow manage to set a bowl of cereal on fire.

They ate in silence for a while. Haru snuck up a quick glance at Makoto's face. He looked like he was in deep thought about something. There was another question itching at Haru.

"So... Um... Did Kisumi say anything?" Haru tried to ask nicer this time, but he really needed to know if that twit forced himself onto Makoto.

"Well... He said Hayato is making a lot of progress in swimming... His family is doing good and he-"

Haru zoned out. He wanted to know if he tried to make any moves on him, not about his family! Haru barely knew anything about his family except that they were filthy rich.

"Haru? You've been acting differently today... You're zoning out a lot." Makoto looked almost... hurt. "You can tell me anything, you know..." He said a little softer.

If only that were true. He just wished he didn't have to hide anything anymore; What he wouldn't give to just have all his feelings out in the open without any consequences.

"It's nothing, Makoto. Really. Just not feeling great." He got up to put his dishes in the sink.

Makoto followed and put his in as well. Haru washed and Makoto dried them.

The taller boy appeared to be contemplating something again. After what felt like an eternity of silence, Makoto's gentle voice broke through.

"Haru..." He seemed to be working up the courage to say something. He swallowed. "Do... Do you not like Kisumi?"

Haru froze in place and gripped the plate he was washing so hard he almost broke it. He felt Makoto's eyes searching him for some hint of confirmation. The smaller boy tried to smooth it over and continued washing the dish. "What makes you think that?"

"Well... It's just that... You seem fine until he comes up in the conversation..."

Makoto was on to him. Were his reactions that noticeable? Haru decided to play dumb, not looking up from the sink. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Haru, you know you can tell me, right? Has he said something bad to you? Has he hurt you?" His voice grew with panic.

Haru's mind raced with agonizing images of Kisumi excluding him in middle school, all the pain he endured when the manipulative brat would steal his only friend, leaving him all alone. He couldn't fool Makoto anymore. He just had to work his way around it.

"He's just annoying."

Makoto wore a confused expression. "That's it? That's why you don't like him?"

Haru knew he was trapped in a corner now. What could he possibly say now? It was either tell the truth or own his stupid answer.

"It's nothing, Makoto! Just drop it!" Haru half yelled. He finished the last dish and went to the living room to study, leaving Makoto staring at him with his mouth half opened. The brunette soon followed him and joined him on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Makoto keep opening and closing his mouth, searching for something to say and obviously very rattled by this sudden outburst.

Makoto was biting his lip while staring at the textbook. He suddenly heaved sigh and set down the book, seemingly preparing himself for a long speech.

"If you're not going to tell me why, then I guess I'll just say..." He took a deep breath. "You're one of the most important people in my life, Haru. You're much more important to me than Kisumi. So, if Kisumi treats Haru badly, then... Kisumi isn't my friend. Just tell me and I'll make him sorry." Makoto's emerald green eyes were dark with sincerity.

Haru looked up at him with wide, sapphire blue eyes. Makoto would be willing to give up a dear childhood friend for him? Makoto would confront that friend for him? Haru held the power in his hand to just say the words right now and Makoto would cut all ties with that fake bubblegum haired poser. He could tell Makoto about all the times that Kisumi made fun of him and stuck out his tongue at him behind Makoto's back and _even to this day_ treated him like dirt. Makoto would understand and Kisumi's charming little manicured face would be out of the picture.

But Haru couldn't do that. Kisumi was Makoto's friend, as much as he hated it. Kisumi and Makoto had fun together. Kisumi made Makoto happy. He couldn't ruin it for him, no matter how much he despised those taunting violet eyes and mop of candy floss hair.

So he lied through his teeth. "No, Makoto. It's fine."

"It's not fine!-"

"Makoto. It's just... He was a bully as a kid. I'm sure he's fine now." Haru winced at the garbage coming out of his mouth. He knew for a fact that Kisumi still hated his guts and wanted him gone as soon as possible so that he could snatch Makoto up. Haru remembered at their last encounter, Kisumi even took him aside and warned him of this fact, making it very clear that he still wanted Makoto.

"Don't lie to me." Makoto's green eyes bore into him.

Haru's pulse pounded in his ears. Of course Makoto would see right through him.

It's not that he was a bad liar... It's just that he couldn't fool Makoto. "R-Really... He's just... A little rough around the edges. We're fine, though."

Makoto just stared at him for a long time. Haru looked back down at his textbook to avoid those sympathetic green eyes.

Makoto suddenly leaned over and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Haru would have tensed up and pushed away if it were anyone else, as he is not one fond of physical contact, but hugging wasn't awkward with Makoto. They hadn't done it in a while, but they used to as kids. Haru sighed at the comforting embrace and pulled him closer, leaning his head on Makoto's shoulder and savoring this moment with a sigh of contentment. "I told you it's okay."

"And I know you better than that... Haru, you should have told me sooner! I'm so sorry... I should have known..."

"Makoto... It's fine... It's nothing too bad... Please just don't say anything to Kisumi..."

"Shh. It'll be okay." Makoto hushed him. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

"Makoto, it'll just make things worse!" Haru begged. The last thing he needed was to be on one of the richest people in town's hit list.

"I know, Haru, I know. I'm just going to keep my distance from him. No one is allowed to treat you like that." Makoto sounded so angry, it really wasn't like him.

Haru felt a blossoming heat in his heart. Makoto was so protective of him.

The green eyed boy checked his watch and swallowed, but continued to keep his arms around Haru.

"What time is it?"

"... 10:00..."

Makoto is always supposed to be home by 9:30. Haru broke apart first and missed Makoto's arms. Makoto seemed to miss Haru in his arms too and wore a pout.

"You need to go home. Your mom is going to be mad."

Makoto rubbed his neck and chuckled. "I'll just tell her I was with you... I mean you _are_ her favorite child."

Haru scoffed, it _was_ like Makoto's mother to nag him about being more like Haru. He supposed that was a typical mom thing, though. Besides, Haru considered Makoto's mother to be more of a mother to him than his own.

The shorter boy led Makoto to the door and dropped his voice lower. "Um... Thank you, Makoto..."

Makoto smiled like an angel and shook his head. "I didn't do anything." He dropped his gaze to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck in that shy way. "Goodnight, Haru. See you tomorrow."

In that moment, a goodnight kiss and would've felt like the most natural thing in the world, but unfortunately, it didn't happen tonight.

"Goodnight, Makoto."

Makoto walked down the steps back to his house and Haru finally closed the door, feeling butterflies take flight in his stomach. He smirked a little bit.

 _Check mate, Kisumi._

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 **Next Chapter: Complications**


	5. Complications

**(Makoto's POV)**

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Makoto tried to creep in through the door, hoping his mother was already asleep.

"Makoto Tachibana! Do you know what time it is?" His mother approached him with crossed arms. Makoto sighed. There really wasn't any avoiding this. His mother was always on watch.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I lost track of time." Makoto bowed his head in apology; He really was sorry.

"Where have you been?"

"After I hung out with Kisumi, I went to Haru's house and ate supper and we started talking... I'm sorry." Makoto explained, still bowing his head. He could see her glare soften out of the corner of his eye. She finally closed her eyes in a sigh.

"Well... I suppose it's fine then, if you were with Haru."

Makoto glanced up to see his mother's mouth curved into a gentle, caring smile, and he too sighed in relief.

"It won't happen again." He assured, relieved that he had escaped a brutal scolding.

"I don't mind if you stay out a little later if you're with him... As long as you gave him a goodnight kiss, that is." She smiled again and ruffled Makoto's hair.

"M-mom!" Makoto partially covered his face to hide his obvious blush. "We're not dating!"

"I know, I know! But your father and I have been talking and we think that you should just _tell_ him already-"

"Mom, please!" Makoto begged, embarrassment growing by the second.

"I mean, it's _obvious_ you two like each other, and you'll never know unless you try, so-"

"Ah! Thank you, Mom! I think that's enough!" Makoto was trying desperately to end this conversation, as his blush was consuming his face.

"Okay, okay!" She laughed and her voice suddenly dropped to a softer tone. "I'm just trying to tell you that it's almost the end of the year, and if you don't make a move, then you two might go separate ways..." Her voice tapered off at the end.

Makoto stared at the ground. "I-I know... I just... I just don't want to ruin things between us... Besides... I'm pretty sure I'm not the one he... Um... Wants." He barely choked out the words. It was hard enough to come to terms with, and even harder to hear out of his own mouth.

Her eyes glistened with sympathy. "I'll trust your judgement... But... Just remember... I think I can tell when two people are in love."

Makoto knew it was true. His mother just had a special aptitude for understanding people; It was much more than a mother's intuition. To her, it was a sixth sense. Makoto supposed that's why people told him he just _understood_ people; He inherited the skill from his mother. She had even guessed that Makoto was in love with Haru before he had even fully been able to comprehend it himself.

"...And you are kind of oblivious..." She continued, shrugging.

"W-Wha-? What?!"

"Oh, _come on_ , you can't even see how he looks at you! How he treats you!" She swooned.

"Goodnight, _Mother!_ " The olive haired boy tried to make a dash to his room and forget all about this awkward conversation. He was quite sure Haru didn't look at him or treat him differently than anyone else. It was just a mutual respect they had for each other; He was sure Haru intended nothing more.

"Wait, wait!" She tugged on his sleeve to keep him in place. "The point is that you're a lot more special than you think you are, okay? You don't realize it, but you make everyone around you happy and there aren't many people as kind as you are. And... anyone would be lucky to have you in their life." She gave him the most caring smile imaginable. One that just captured her entire motherly, compassionate, essence in one small gesture.

Makoto blushed for what felt like the millionth time today. "I-I... don't know about that... But thank you..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"It seems like you've just grown up so fast... Haruka too...You're going to college so soon... And then you'll be off on your own..." She laughed humorlessly. He knew his mother was not one to easily show emotion, so it came as no surprise that she looked away when tears filled her eyes.

Makoto immediately reached forward and took her into his arms. "It's not like I'm going to forget about you... Thank you for everything. I love you."

She hugged him back and tried to reign in her sobs. "I-I'm sorry... I shouldn't be crying like this..." The older woman wiped her eyes and tried to calm herself.

"Mom, it's okay. Give yourself a break." He gave her a warm smile. "Goodnight, Mom."

She chuckled softly. "It is pretty late... Goodnight, Makoto." She stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek.

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Makoto knew swim practice today would be brutal, as they were growing closer and closer to regionals. Of course, as soon as class ended, Haru bolted out of the door to the pool. Makoto chuckled and followed him. As soon as he arrived at the pool, Haru was already stripping out of his school uniform, revealing his black and purple jammers, ever present under his clothes. Although sometimes troublesome, like when he tried to jump into a public fountain, Makoto loved Haru's quirks. He allowed himself a tiny smile at the raven haired boy blissfully floating in the water.

Nagisa was enthusiastically chattering away about something with Rei. They looked... almost _too_ happy... Suspiciously happy.

Nevertheless, Makoto couldn't help but smile at their positivity. He was just like that; It was just always a part of him to empathize with the emotions of people around him.

"What's going on?" Makoto asked cheerfully.

Nagisa and Rei muffled a chuckle as if enjoying an inside joke. "We'll tell you later, Mako-chan!" The blonde replied.

"O-okay." Makoto was a bit confused, so he just went to change into his swimsuit so they could start practice.

After ending practice a little early because half the team was not very focused, Gou demanded to know what's going on.

"Seriously, you two have been acting weird all day! Just tell us what's going on already!"

The little blonde was bursting with giddiness. "Can I tell them? Please, please Rei-chan!" He jumped up and down.

Rei flashed a triumphant smile and pushed up his glasses, obviously trying to hide that he was excited too.

"Yes, I suppose!"

Makoto and Haru glanced over at each other in unison, both expecting the words that came next.

"Rei-chan and I are dating!"

No one could say they didn't really expect it, though.

"We're so happy for you guys!"

Makoto smiled kindly and congratulated them while Haru nodded in agreement to his words, wearing a tiny smile, just for this occasion.

Gou's reaction was perhaps the most overjoyed. Her eyes lit up and she practically squealed in joy. After a few minutes, she calmed herself and tried to bring her voice back down to a serious tone.

"Although this is very exciting news, we have to remember that regionals is close! We have to stay focused! Okay?"

Everyone nodded in agreement, even Nagisa and Rei who had their arms wrapped around each other.

The boys went to the locker room to change clothes, where the new couple couldn't stop babbling on about how they confessed.

"Too bad we don't know any other couples like us... Wait! I know!" The smallest boy's magenta eyes lit up.

Makoto could almost predict from the tone of his voice that this idea was not going to be good; It was that mischievous tone that Makoto had come to recognize, and _fear._

"What if Haru-chan and Mako-chan were a couple too? I mean, they're already in love so it would be perfect!"

It seemed like everyone in the room went completely still, the world in slow motion, except for Nagisa, of course. Makoto was glad he hadn't eaten much today, because he was sure that those words were enough to make him sick. Not the part about him and Haru being a couple, but the part that _Haru was in the room right now, listening to all of this._ And Haru loved someone else. His heart pounded in his ears and he screamed a thousand profanities in his mind, probably directed at Nagisa or himself or the world or everything because-

 _Why_ did he have to say that out loud?! Did Nagisa have no shame? Was he just completely _blind_ to Haru's obvious feelings for Rin or did he just want to embarrass Makoto?

Would it be okay for him to just run away right now? To just run away and forget this all happened; Haru probably would never speak to him again after this conversation was over anyways! Makoto couldn't even bear to turn his head and look at the blue eyed boy who must be wearing a look of disgust right now.

Breaking into the long silence was Rei's panicked voice. "N-Nagisa-kun! Perhaps we should not discuss such things so blatantly, yes?!"

Nagisa shrugged, not even seeming to contain a hint of embarrassment at his comment. "What? They already act like a couple anyways."

Makoto felt a gigantic lump in his throat, body paralyzed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He felt like he was being tied down and forced to watch his worst nightmare play out before his very eyes. He wanted to tell Nagisa that that wasn't true or walk away or at least _do something!_ But he couldn't. He was frozen.

"Nagisa."

Makoto flinched, no _jumped,_ at the sound of Haru's voice. He slightly turned his head and dared to take a look at his face. He was not blushing, in fact, his skin was sickly pale, almost like all the blood had drained out of it. His blue eyes were dull and narrowed in a threatening way, glaring daggers into Nagisa. Makoto could see through the anger in his expression and more accurately classified it as... Embarrassment.

"Come on, Haru-chan! I'm just trying to help." Nagisa pouted.

"You're not. You're upsetting Makoto." Haru's threatening tone matched his deadly eyes, even though Makoto could hear a slight tremble that told him that he was just as upset as he was.

Makoto suddenly became aware of what his expression must look like. Damn it! Why did he have to be such an open book? Now Haru must definitely know he likes him! What was the point of this? For him to look like a total idiot? Nagisa _must_ know that Haru likes Rin and that Makoto likes Haru, so _what was the goal here_?! He thought he could trust Nagisa! He knew Nagisa was a bit on the blunt side, but he never thought he would throw him under the bus like this!

Nagisa took one look at Makoto's face and the blonde finally showed regret. "Oh. Sorry, Mako-chan."

Makoto tried his best to perk his lips up into a forgiving smile, which he was sure came across as forced.

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The walk home between Makoto and Haru was disturbingly quiet. It hadn't been this quiet on one of their walks in a _long_ time. Makoto couldn't even recall a single walk home that he hadn't tried to make up a conversation just so there wouldn't be silence, but he couldn't even force words out of his mouth. He knew it was just kind of his unspoken job to think of something to talk about, but his brain was so clouded with everything that had just occurred in a few minutes. He just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball. He soon became aware that Haru was watching him out of the corner of his eye. Hell, he probably already knew that he liked him. No normal person would be this worked up about a silly comment that a friend made! But he was! _Because it was completely and utterly true that he was in love with Haru._

Haru was probably beyond appalled; He was probably sorry he was ever friends with this sicko who developed feelings for him.

Or maybe Haru felt sorry for him. Maybe Haru would let him down easy and say they could still be friends.

Or maybe he was outraged; Maybe he felt like Makoto had betrayed his trust and had been plotting to steal him from Rin.

Or, Makoto hoped, he didn't know.

But Haru wore a blank expression on his face, so Makoto checked his eyes, because that's really where his emotion shows.

The blue orbs were... in deep thought. Also, still... embarrassed. Something unusual though, was that Haru was biting his lip; Something he did not do unless something really was bothering him.

After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, they finally approached the stairs to their houses.

"W-Well, goodnight, Haru... See you tomorrow..." He barely choked out the sentence, wincing at how pathetic his voice must have sounded.

Haru's blue eyes suddenly dulled with sadness. "Y-You're not coming over...?"

"I-I didn't think you w-wanted me to! I-I don't _not_ want to, I just d-didn't know if-if-"

Makoto had trouble piecing together a comprehensible sentence between his obvious stuttering and blushing. It's just... Why did Haru want him to come over? All he wanted right now was to sleep and erase this awful day from his memory.

"Of course I do..." Haru's cheeks were slightly dusted with pink and he turned away to hide his affectionate statement.

Makoto swallowed and nodded, following Haru up the stairs.

After a long time of doing their homework in silence, Makoto couldn't stand this anymore. He hated just pretending like their relationship hadn't just been assumed to be something more than friends right in front of their faces. He sighed and put his pencil down, gathering every ounce of courage in his body.

"Haru..." The smaller boy looked up from his work to meet Makoto's eyes. "I-I'm sorry about what Nagisa said... I'm sorry that I didn't do anything about it... That he was so..." He wracked his brain for the right word. "Blunt, like that."

Haru shook his head. "Don't apologize. You're not the one who said it. And you didn't have to do anything about it." He lowered his voice a little bit and looked back down at his paper, continuing to write, hurt even further dulling his blue eyes. "Besides... It didn't really bother me... It only did because you were so upset."

Makoto felt his heart jump into his throat. What did that mean?! He either means that he figured out from Makoto's reaction that he liked him, or that it bothered him that Makoto was upset from Nagisa's comment. But wouldn't Haru be bothered either way if he had feelings for Rin? Makoto just needed to find out. He just needed to hear from Haru's mouth if he liked Rin or not. Then he could know if his feelings for Haru could have any chance at all at being justified, and then he could go from there.

"It... Didn't bother you?" Makoto asked hesitantly.

There was a short pause. Haru seemed to be contemplating the right thing to say.

"Well, yes and no. Yes because he shouldn't be blurting out things that are none of his business, but no because it doesn't matter what he thinks anyways."

He dodged the question.

"I just... I just thought it would bother you... Because..."

Makoto's voice tapered off because he didn't want to finish this. If only he could go back now.

"Because what?" Haru arched an eyebrow.

Makoto took a deep breath. "You like Rin, don't you?"

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 **Next chapter: Crashing Waves**


	6. Crashing Waves

**(Haru's POV)**

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"I _WHAT?_!" Haru cried out.

Makoto flinched from his sudden tone, holding up his hands to protect his face. "It's okay, Haru! You don't have to hide it, I'm your best friend, and I'm happy for you!" His smile was almost genuine, except... Something was missing. His lips were curved, but his green eyes told a different story. They were crinkled at the eyes in slight sadness, like a puppy. Haru could basically picture puppy ears atop his head, folding over at being scolded.

" _WHERE_ ," He enunciated every syllable in disbelief. " _IN THE HELL_ , _did you get that idea_?!" The smaller boy half yelled.

"Well, I mean... It's kind of obvious... But it's great, Haru! I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy." Makoto tilted his head to the side in another supportive smile. It irked Haru immensely. He shouldn't be so happy! Or was it just an act? Haru couldn't tell and it made him so angry; He just wished people would just say what they honestly thought so there would be no complications like this!

"Makoto. Listen carefully:" He narrowed his eyes to show his annoyance. "I. Do Not. Like. Rin. Like. That. I _never_ have and I _never_ will. Got it?"

Makoto blinked rapidly and tilted his head to the side as if not understanding, one of his invisible puppy ears perking up. "W-what? Haru, you know you can tell me, right?"

Haru groaned and threw a couch pillow at his face. " _Idiot_! Look at me, Makoto: I _really, REALLY, do not like Rin._ "

Makoto's eyes were wide and he gasped almost inaudibly. "You... You really don't..." It was more of a statement then a question. Haru couldn't tell what the expression on Makoto's face was... It was kind of hopeful... And confused... And scared.

Haru huffed loudly and sat back down, his mind racing a mile a minute. How long has Makoto thought this? Did Haru act like he liked Rin? Does this mean that Makoto was blind to Haru's feelings for him?

Well this changed things.

Haru was so sure that Makoto had some hint, however small that hint might be, that Haru liked him. And Haru did that on purpose. A part of him wanted Makoto to know that he liked him, so that maybe Makoto would just understand and reciprocate his feelings so that they could just easily and naturally shift into the next step in their relationship.

With this new complication, it was obvious that a transition into a romantic relationship would not be as smooth as he hoped it would be.

"I'm sorry... Haru... I really thought..." Makoto rubbed his neck and stared at the floor, not finishing his statement.

Haru exhaled. "I would never like Rin like that, idiot. You should know that." The raven haired boy huffed and returned to his homework, feeling completely lethargic to do anything now.

"I... I'm really sorry." Makoto fidgeted with his pencil, looking very conflicted and sad.

"Stop apologizing. It's over, and now you know." Haru wished he didn't sound so agitated; He didn't want to make Makoto feel bad, but he couldn't help it! How could he assume something so ridiculous?! And then pretend to be happy for him! How oblivious could he be?! Haru tried his best to drop subtle hints to him about his feelings, and apparently Makoto was too oblivious or humble to recognize his tiny displays of affection. How could he think that Haru was in love with his rival as opposed to his kind, caring, gentle best friend who understood him better than anyone and tried to make him feel safe and loved?

He saw Makoto open his mouth, probably to apologize for apologizing too much, but he shut it again and bit his lip with a pained expression. He knew Makoto probably wanted to apologize so badly, but didn't want to annoy Haru. The blue eyed boy sighed, mustering up a shred of sanity.

"I didn't mean to go off like that, Makoto... I just... don't get why you would think that." Haru tried to keep a calm tone, but his anger just kept rising when he thought about it.

"Why is it so impossible to you? I mean, Rin is the only person that has ever been able to make you so passionate... It's not that ridiculous, really." Makoto shrugged. Did Haru pick up a hint of jealousy in his voice?

Haru felt like banging his head on the wall. _It is ridiculous because I've only_ _ever loved you_! _Wouldn't you consider that 'passionate'?_ _Why can't you just understand that?!_ Haru restrained himself from screaming it out, clenching his teeth.

"It's not called passionate, it's called agitated. If you could just _understand_ that..." He stopped himself from saying something he would regret and rephrased it. "That I don't feel that way about him, and that's why I'm so mad."

Makoto nodded and looked down again, in deep thought, and it obviously wasn't towards his long ago abandoned homework.

What if Haru were to just come clean right now and end this complicated mess for good? Or would that lead to an even more complicated mess?

Haru lowered his voice a bit. "Makoto... How long have you thought this?"

Haru's heart shattered at the words that came next.

"I don't know..." He shrugged. "As long as I can remember."

Makoto _always_ thought this? Since they were _kids_? He never even got the clue that maybe Haru liked _him_ instead?!

All he could do now was sigh. He just felt so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. He'd probably experienced more emotions today than he did in an average week.

"Let's just drop it, okay? You don't like him. I understand." Makoto said with dull green eyes.

Haru wondered... Did he _really understand_? He nodded nevertheless.

How did this conversation escalate so quickly anyways? What were they even talking about that landed them here?

Oh yeah. What Nagisa said. Damn Nagisa. This was all his fault! If only he hadn't been so careless when talking about private things then they wouldn't even be having this conversation!

But would that have been better? At least he knew what Makoto had been thinking this whole time now... But was that better either? He kind of wished he had never found out. This was torture.

Either way, Nagisa was going to feel his wrath for blurting out his business like that.

Makoto checked his watch and started to get up. "Oh... I have to go home..."

Haru wordlessly got up and went to the door with him.

"Goodnight, Haru... See you tomorrow." Makoto gave a weak smile, wracked with exhaustion and sadness.

Haru nodded. "Yeah. Goodnight."

As soon as he closed the door, Haru ran to his bedroom and grabbed his phone out of his drawer.

 **Haru:** What the hell, Nagisa?! What made you think you could say that? You and Rei are together and that's fucking great just don't try to force Makoto and I to follow you! Quit sticking your nose into things you don't know anything about!

Haru typed it rapidly in a burst of fury, not even hesitating to send it. Several minutes passed.

 **Haru:** Answer me, damn it!

 **Haru:** I know you're reading these!

 **Haru:** NAGISA

The raven haired boy groaned. It was no use. He tossed his phone aside and collapsed onto his bed. What a day this was turning out to be. He suddenly felt his phone vibrating, signaling that someone was calling him. Without checking the caller ID, he immediately answered. "Listen here you little-,"

"Well nice to talk to you too?" The rough voice answered.

Haru's eyes went wide and he checked who it was.

Oh. Rin. Why the hell was he calling right now?!

Haru softened his tone a little... But not much. "Oh... I thought it was someone else. What do you want?"

"Damn, Haru! You could try being nice for once! You don't even know what I want to talk about."

"I'm not in the best of moods, okay?"

"Yeah, I figured that already. Nagisa told me what happened."

Haru exhaled like a deflating balloon. Where was this conversation going? He didn't want to talk about that! He didn't want to talk, period. Maybe just a warm bath would elicit the horror of this day.

"And?" He rolled his eyes.

"Listen Haru... I don't think you should be mad at Nagisa... He's just trying to help, I mean, we all just want you two to hook it up already. It's getting exhausting."

And how exactly was it exhausting for _him_? "I don't need help! If we're meant to be, then it will happen naturally! If it exhausts you then just leave us alone and focus on your own problems!"

"You just can't fucking sit around and wait for it to happen! Don't you realize that you have to actually _do_ something?! We're your friends and we want you both to be happy!"

"You call this happy? Me and Makoto are caught up in this huge mess because Nagisa couldn't keep his mouth shut and Makoto thinks I like _you_ , and-" Haru stopped to listen to what he just said, immediately smacking the palm of his hand to his forehead.

Rin, on cue, erupted into roaring laughter. Haru cursed himself internally. How could he have let that embarrassing detail slip? Rin just aggravated him so much that he just abandoned all self restraint and went on a wild rampage, spilling all his rage and the specifics of he and Makoto's awkward conversation.

"He... Thinks... You..." Rin continued his elaborate show of amusement, with a boisterous guffaw. " _Like me_?" He cackled again into the phone. "Well, I guess I can't blame him, I am a pretty good-"

"Goodbye." Haru was about to click the end call button.

"Wait, wait! Okay, okay, I'm done." He wheezed, catching his breath. "But... seriously?"

"Do I sound like I'm joking to you?" Haru said grimly.

"Wow... That's..." Rin began to snort again.

"Rin."

"Right, I'm sorry, I'm done now!" Rin exhaled to calm himself. "Where was I? Oh yeah." He shifted his voice into a darker tone. "It's the end of the year, Haru. Do you even know what you're going to do after high school?"

Haru couldn't answer.

"Do you know what Makoto is doing after high school?"

He couldn't answer once again. He felt his heart sink painfully. The raven haired boy felt horrible; He hadn't even asked Makoto yet. Partly because he just assumed they would always be together no matter what he did, and more importantly, because he was scared of the answer he might get.

"Exactly." Rin replied to his silence. "Wake up, Haru! He's a _real_ person with _real_ dreams! You can't just count on him to wait for you to make a decision. If you don't tell him now, you might never get the chance again."

Rin had basically said the same thing a while back at the joint practice, and Haru paid no mind. Back then, Haru thought that he would have it all figured out by now. But now, with only a couple months left in the year and no plan whatsoever, panic finally started to sink in at those words.

"So what are you gonna do, Haru?"

His blue eyes widened and as he ended the call quickly.

He dropped the phone and fell to the floor.

Swimming professionally just went against everything he believed in, but at the same time, it was the only thing he felt inclined towards. But in swimming professionally came competition, fame, winning, times, judgment, awards, records, crowds, expectations- everything that would hold him back from being truly free.

And what if he wasn't as good as people said he was? Sure, he might be the best around in the high school of Iwatobi, but was he really good enough to go up against people who had been vigorously training their entire lives?

What if he wasn't good enough? His friends, family, and everyone would be watching him fail miserably! Would they still respect him if they found out that he wasn't as skilled as they thought he was?

He might even have to compete against Rin in competitions, and what would that do to their relationship? Sure, they were friendly rivals now, but he was certain it would change them for the worst when they would be forced to compete for their careers. How would he feel if he beat Rin at the Olympics, crushing his lifelong dream? Would he even be willing to do that?

He didn't even want to think about if Makoto decided to swim professionally and he had to compete against him.

If Haru failed after deciding to swim professionally, what options would he have after that?

What options did he even have now?

There was he nothing he excelled in besides swimming. There was nothing he wanted to pursue besides swimming. But he _couldn't_ swim for a career.

He felt like he was in the midst of a huge storm, abandoned at sea. The waves kept crashing over his head, sending him into the deepest, darkest depth in the ocean. He wanted to cry out for help, but his lungs were filled with water and he couldn't breathe.

What _was_ he going to do?

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 **Next chapter: Conflicting Thoughts**


	7. Conflicting Thoughts

**(Makoto's POV)**

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Makoto laid awake in his bed.

So... Haru... Didn't ... Like... Rin?

That changes everything. If Haru didn't like Rin, that opened up the possibility that.. Makoto actually had a chance with him.

Don't be stupid, he thought. Even if Haru didn't like Rin, who's to say that Haru doesn't love someone else? Or just isn't interested in a romantic relationship at all?

But what Haru said... He said he was angry because it was so ridiculous to think that he would ever like Rin... But he didn't get angry like that at Nagisa's comment... Not that that fact solved anything, though. He might have just not acted appalled because he didn't want to offend Makoto.

But... Haru didn't even deny the notion that they should be a couple! He never even implied that it would be ridiculous for them to go out. He didn't even act opposed to the idea at all! Could it really be that Haru... liked him?

No! That's ridiculous! Haru probably just knows that Makoto has a stupid crush on him and didn't want to hurt his feelings. And that all that fury about not liking Rin was probably just a cover up for his true feelings. Haru liked Rin. End of story.

But was it?! Haru seemed... really sincere in his fiery rage about not liking Rin. But he could just be a good liar! But then again, Makoto could always tell when he was lying. Why would this time be any different?

Well probably because his personal feelings are involved this time! Yes, that's it! He doesn't want Haru to be lying, so he's making up an impossible scenario in his head that Haru isn't lying, when he obviously is! Obviously!

But was Haru really one to lie about something like that? Haru was a person who hated lying; He believed everything would be simpler if people just said what was on their mind. But not too long ago he lied about Kisumi! So maybe he lied this time too!

But that time Haru lied out of kindness. Haru didn't want to ruin Makoto and Kisumi's relationship, so he only lied for a good cause. So maybe he lied this time too to spare Makoto's feelings!

But Haru wouldn't lead him on like that... If he knew about Makoto's feelings, he would just confront him about it and say that he didn't reciprocate. But maybe he just didn't want to ruin their relationship. Even so, he wouldn't have lied about not liking Rin! There was a difference between preserving a relationship and leading on. Maybe it was because Haru was shy about showing his real emotions, and he himself hadn't even accepted the fact that he liked Rin, so he responded with anger. Yes, that's why! He just hasn't come to terms with his feelings because he's not used to them. He was angry because someone had seen through his ruse and figured out what he was trying so hard to hide.

Or what if he was just angry that Makoto assumed he liked Rin because he _honestly_ wasn't in love with Rin? And if it was possible that Haru was just shy about admitting his feelings, then wasn't it also possible that he had feelings for Makoto? Then that would mean that he had been oblivious to Haru's feelings this whole time!

Now _that_ was disturbing.

What was he even thinking?! Regardless of whether he liked Rin or him or whoever, he should have been the first to know!

He should have asked sooner! What if Haru had been struggling for a long time with this confusing topic? What if Haru was _suffering alone_?! Haru was probably going through the hardest time of his life, and Makoto had been blind to it all!

Had Haru even decided what to do with his future? Makoto had just assumed that eventually Haru would warm up to the idea of swimming professionally, but... had he? He still seemed as opposed to the idea as ever. Besides, Haru always changed the topic when Makoto tried to bring it up. Was Haru scared of the future too? But what if Haru had other ideas in mind? Maybe he wanted to be a chef, or an artist, or a marine biologist!

Makoto hadn't even asked. For the most part, he was afraid to ask. Haru just had so many options; There was almost nothing he couldn't do. Finding a college that would accept Haru wouldn't be hard. Makoto glanced over to the finished college application on his desk. The same couldn't be said for himself. He made good grades, but there was nothing special about his swimming or himself in general, he thought. Soon, Haru would be on his way to his dream. If he were to do the same, he would need to start now.

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It was the night before regionals, and the team was at a hotel near the stadium. Of course, Haru and Makoto shared a room. Makoto got out of the shower and to his embarrassment, realized he'd forgotten to grab a towel.

"Hey... Um... Haru... I... I kinda forgot to get a towel..." He called out, blush creeping down his cheeks.

There was only silence. "Haru?" No reply. He peeked his head out of the door. The room was empty. He sighed and went out to grab a towel from his suitcase. Haru must have went out to be alone and think. It came as no surprise. Ever since their conversation about Haru's feelings for Rin, it seemed like a wall had been built between them.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Ah! Wait a minute, please!" He hastily put his clothes on and draped a towel around his neck. Makoto ran to the door and twisted the knob, and was surprised to see familiar maroon hair and matching red eyes. "Oh, Rin! Sorry... Haru isn't here right now..." He offered an apologetic smile.

Rin's mouth curved into a 'tch.'

"Jeez, he's not answering my calls either. I talked to him the other day and he just randomly hung up. Still running away from his problems, I see."

Makoto's green eyes widened. Rin and Haru talked the other day? As in... the day they had _the conversation_? What problems did Haru have that Rin knew about?

"Oh... Well... I'll tell him to talk to you when he comes back."

"Don't worry about it. I'll talk to him later, but I really need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"Y-Yeah! Go right ahead!" Makoto was very confused, but he moved out of the way and let Rin come in nevertheless.

Makoto sat down on the bed and Rin pulled up a stool to sit in front of him.

"So... Makoto, what do you plan to do after college? At your skill level, at least a couple scouts should come talk to you tomorrow."

"Well... T-thank you for saying that..." He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, after all, he was rarely ever complimented for his swimming. "But I don't think competitive swimming is for me... I've been looking into a college in Tokyo... I think I would rather join the teaching side of swimming." Makoto tilted his head to the side with a smile.

"That'd be good for you." Rin gave a small supportive grin.

"T-thanks!"

"Does Haru know yet?"

Makoto felt his heart drop. That was the problem.

"N-no." He looked down, ashamed that he couldn't work the courage up. Also because he wasn't even sure if this is what he wanted, much less if he would even get accepted.

Rin nodded, almost as if expecting that answer.

Makoto tried to explain himself. "I... Don't... Know how he'll respond... He has a lot on his mind right now... I think I'll wait a while."

Rin bit his lip, but still nodded. There was a short pause.

"Makoto. There's... Something you need to know..." Rin's cheeks were dusted with a red blush.

"Mm?" The brunette raised an eyebrow.

"Um..." Rin took a deep breath. "Ah, fuck. I didn't want to have to do this, but..." His blush grew further.

Makoto's heart pounded painfully in his chest. Was Rin about to admit his feelings for Haru?

"Is everything okay...?" Makoto asked with growing panic.

Rin inhaled and looked him straight in the eyes. "Listen... Haru is... Not in love with me. And I'm not in love with him."

Makoto felt his heart stop all together. All he could do was stare at Rin with wide eyes.

"W-what? H-How?!" He stuttered. Haru told Rin about that?! Why would he do that?! Why would Rin bring this up now?! Why would Rin even care?!

"Just trust me, okay? I don't want to go into specifics... Haru should do that on his own... But please trust me on this one; If you have feelings for Haru, you should do something about it."

Makoto just sat there with his mouth half open and wide eyes. This conversation took a very unexpected turn. A thousand thoughts raced through his head, interrupted by the twisting of the knob at the door. Makoto jumped at the sound of the door opening. Haru walked in and his eyes immediately narrowed at the red haired intruder. "Why are you here?"

"I came to talk to Makoto. I was just leaving." Rin put his hands in his pockets and walked past Haru, not even giving him a second glance.

Haru glared at the back of Rin's head before closing the door. "What did he say?" There was a hint of panic in his voice.

Makoto tried to act like he hadn't just received a shocking piece of information. He forced a weak smile and shrugged it off. "Nothing much... He just wanted to talk about swimming and future stuff..."

Haru did not seem satisfied with that answer and he narrowed his eyes at the taller boy.

"It was nothing, Haru! He just wanted to wish us good luck for tomorrow." He held his hands up in defense. It wasn't exactly a lie...

Haru still looked deeply betrayed and grabbed a towel. "I'm taking a bath."

He went to the bathroom without another word. Makoto sighed too. Why was everything suddenly changing between them? He would give anything for things to just be normal again; Close, trusting, understanding.

After about an hour and a half, Makoto decided that Haru wasn't coming out of the bath anytime soon and went to bed.

As expected, he could barely keep his eyes shut.

How did Rin know that Makoto thought Haru liked him? How did Rin know that Makoto had feelings for Haru? Was it that obvious? Why would Rin want him to 'do something about it'? Did he want Makoto to make a fool out of himself? No... That couldn't be it... Despite his brash impression, Makoto could see that Rin was actually a really kind person. Then why would Rin want him to make a move? Did... Rin know something he didn't? Or was he just making an assumption?

Makoto was so overwhelmed with everything. There was an infinite amount of questions and a lack of answers, and the only way to get them was to say three little words that would change everything between them.

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Today was finally regionals. Makoto glanced over at Haru. The smaller boy just looked so... tired. He wondered if Haru had been losing sleep like he had. Haru was staring at a group of scouts- no, glaring was more accurate.

"Are you okay, Haru?" Makoto asked with concern.

Haru blinked a few times and looked away, nodding slightly.

This was a bad sign. Haru specifically made sure Makoto couldn't see his eyes; He didn't want Makoto to see that something was wrong. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. But... Haru was still carefully watching the scouts, his eyes shifting into a dimmer shade of blue. Haru must be stressed out about college, Makoto surmised. Anyone would be; Especially Haru. He was the one all the scouts wanted were waiting for. He was the pride of their school. It was an enormous weight to bear, so it was no surprise that he would be a little on edge, even if it was the normally stoic and composed Haru. Makoto knew all too well that everyone broke down sometimes.

"Are you sure?"

"It's nothing." Haru's lips barely moved. His voice was dead.

An announcer on the speaker in the stadium called for all backstroke swimmers participating in the men's 100m.

"Good luck!" His teammates cheered, Nagisa, Rei Gou and Ms. Amakata smiling encouragingly.

"Thanks!" Makoto smiled half heartedly, reluctant to leave Haru in such a state.

He was just about to head down to the pool when Haru tugged on his jacket.

"Haru? Is something wrong?" Makoto's eyebrows drew together in worry.

Haru was looking down. "Good luck, Makoto..." His sapphire eyes looked up.

Makoto gasped quietly. He smiled more honestly this time. "Thank you, Haru."

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 **Next Chapter: Break Free**


	8. Break Free

**(Haru's POV)**

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Haru watched intently as Makoto took his place in his lane.

Did he even want Makoto to do well? If Makoto ranked highly at regionals, the next step would be nationals. If he made it to nationals, that would basically be a ticket to any college he wanted, especially since Makoto was also an excellent student. Makoto could go anywhere he wanted. He could go far, far away from this tiny, little, insignificant town of Iwatobi and meet kind, friendly people like himself and forget all about his moody and stubborn childhood best friend.

But did Makoto even want to swim professionally?

Haru supposed that if that really was what Makoto wanted to do, he would support his decision no matter how badly he wanted to keep him for himself.

But Haru knew that swimming professionally was not what he himself wanted.

He didn't want the whole school's eyes on him, weighing him down with responsibility to impress them.

He didn't want anymore scouts to surround him like flies and gnaw away at him, all pestering him with praise and offers to go to their college.

He didn't want to swim for any other reason than for his friends and himself; To be free.

No, he wouldn't _allow_ it any other way.

Today, he wanted to swim in such a way that no scout would _dare_ talk to him, no one would tell him his swimming was beautiful, and no one would force him to make a decision about his relationships, his dreams, his future or anything else.

The whistle sounded, bringing Haru back into reality. His teammates all cheered for Makoto, but Haru simply watched. As the race went on, it was clear Makoto was falling behind. When it was finally over, Makoto landed 5th place. It wasn't too bad for regionals, but definitely not good enough for nationals. Haru sighed and walked down from the bleachers, knowing his race came soon following Rin's. He heard encouraging shouts of, "Good luck, Haru-chan!" and "Good luck, Haruka-senpai!" He couldn't reply, or even turn around and face them.

Haru walked into the locker room and stripped out of his jacket and sweatpants. He could almost tell from the footsteps who was approaching him.

"Haru. We need to talk."

He could see fiery red hair out of the corner of his eye. "I'm done talking."

"Then just listen. Since you wouldn't do it, I talked to Makoto. He actually does have plans." Haru's eyes widened slightly. Makoto had... plans?! That he didn't know about? Plans that he told Rin about before his best friend?

Haru felt his heart crack in his chest.

"So what about you?"

"I don't know." Was Haru's curt reply.

Rin scowled. "That's it?"

"Yes." Haru walked away, not giving him a second glance.

Rin 'tch'ed and walked out into the stadium to take his place on his platform.

The race began and as expected, Rin soon took the lead.

How could Rin swim like that? His swimming was not free. He swam to win. Haru was not like that. He could never be like that.

Rin came out in first place. He was guaranteed a place in nationals. Scouts would be swarming him. His dreams were so close.

Haru felt himself trembling. Why was he shaking so much? He'd swam in front of several crowds as large as this one. His heart pounded painfully in his eardrums as the speaker announced the men's 100m freestyle. He took his place on the platform. Everyone was watching him. He couldn't even look at the crowd because he knew he would see loving green eyes watching him. The eyes that mattered the most. He faintly heard his name being called, but it all blended in with the roar of the crowd, making him lightheaded.

He bent his knees slightly and dove into the water at the sound of the shrill whistle. The water felt different than its usual calming caress; It felt like fire. There was no peaceful embrace this time; The water repelled him as he tried to glide through.

The water dug into his skin and pulled him down. Gone was its the usual clear, radiant shimmer, giving way to a murky, dark abyss. The water encumbered his limbs, making him struggle under its weight. The liquid encircled his arms and legs in the form of chains.

 _For the first time ever, the water rejected him._

The water was telling him not to struggle any more. It knew he was not free.

Haru placed one foot on the pool tile, and stood up. The racers next to him left him behind. There was a collective gasp from the crowd. Water droplets dripped from his hair as he stared into the water, examining the ferocious traitor staring back at him. He had been wrong the whole time. The water had never been tamed; The water was a feral beast waiting for its chance to pounce on him. The water betrayed him. Or maybe it was his fault for being the fool that placed his trust in it. Either way, the water did not accept him anymore.

He imagined Nagisa's face right now, magenta eyes wide and mouth open in a gasp. Rei's eyebrows drawn together in worry and mouth partially opened. Gou shielding her eyes from this shocking scene. Ms. Amakata covering her mouth to hide her sound of distress. Rin flashing a shark toothed scowl and cursing under his breath. The scouts all looking at each other worriedly.

He didn't want to imagine Makoto, but his face kept appearing in his mind. His emerald eyes were surely full of the most concern and sympathy. He probably blamed this all on himself. His mouth must be twisted into a heartbroken frown and brows pulled together in deep worry. Haru could picture him so clearly.

He let all of them down. They all expected him to impress them and he failed.

Haru supposed that's all he had ever done and all he was good for.

The racers in lanes beside him had long ago finished and the winner was announced. He lifted himself out of the pool, droplets of water dripping from his skin like shards of glass. The raven haired boy disappeared into the locker room, away from the green eyes he knew were watching him from the crowd.

" _HARU!_ "

Rin came up behind him and gripped his arm. "What the hell _was_ that?"

"It doesn't concern you."

"Don't you realize that what you do out there affects your future? Don't you have a _dream_?"

"Shut up! You could never understand! You don't have what I had with the water!" Haru growled.

Rin squinted his eyes but then shook his head. "I never asked about your water fetish! This is about your future! This was an important race! There were tons of scouts watching! What were you _thinking_?"

Haru slammed his clenched fist into the locker behind him. "You think I care about that? You think I swim for scouts? To set records in front of a crowd?" He hissed, poisonous venom in his voice. "What _dream?_ What _future? I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT_! That's _YOU!_ I'm not _YOU!_ " He breathed heavily after his huge outburst. Rin's red eyes were wide and his mouth was half parted.

Haru was about to leave him there, turning around to walk away until Rin quietly asked, "Then why _do_ you swim?"

Haru turned back around and glared. "I swim for myself and for my friends. And I _only swim free_." He turned to walk away.

"Wait. Haru."

Haru didn't turn around, but stopped in place.

"Do you know why I care so much?" Rin asked quietly.

There was a long pause.

"Because I've been in the same place." The red haired boy was the first to turn around and leave.

Haru stood in place, shocked at those words. He really was in the same place Rin was last year. He remembered how much Rin was suffering, how much he let his anger out on other people. How lost and confused he was. How swimming lost meaning for him. Now it was like looking in a mirror.

"Haru..." There was a gentle voice at the end of the hallway after Rin left. A voice caring enough to make his stomach turn and heart pound in his chest. _No._ Not now. He couldn't face him right now. Anyone but _him._

He heard footsteps slowly approaching him. _No._ He couldn't look him in the eyes.

In a swift move, he turned around and darted past Makoto down the hallway, not looking up to see the terrible disappointment that must be consuming his face.

"H-Haru, wait!" Makoto followed him.

Haru kept running, out the doors of the stadium and towards the hotel. As soon as he got outside, he realized that footsteps were no longer following him.

So even Makoto gave up on him?

He arrived at the door to the hotel and ran in, racing up the stairs to his room, disregarding the stares he got from hotel staff. Haru went in and locked the door behind him, curling up in the darkest corner in the small room.

Why did he even come here? It's not like taking a bath would soothe him. Even the water had given up on him. And Makoto had a key, so he could walk in at any moment. But it suddenly occurred to him that he _wouldn't_ mind if he did walk in.

He _didn't_ want to be alone.

The blue eyed boy suddenly felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

So that's why he came here?

To _cry_?

Haru put his knees up to his chest and his head in his arms.

' _How pathetic,'_ he thought. He hadn't cried like this in several years.

Haru heard the hotel door open. He cursed internally, not even looking up because he knew exactly who it was. There was nowhere he could hide from Makoto. He knew that even if he could, he didn't want to.

He heard Makoto's footsteps slowly approaching him, and the taller boy knelt down beside him like he would to an injured animal. Suddenly Makoto lifted Haru up as if he weighed no more than a child, placed him on his lap, and held him close to his chest.

Haru instinctively wrapped his arms around Makoto's waist, holding on for dear life. Makoto rubbed his back and nestled Haru safely between his legs. The smaller boy nuzzled his face into Makoto's chest, certain, at this point that Makoto could feel his pitiful tears through his shirt. If not, he could definitely hear the muffled whimper he just accidentally let out.

"Oh, _Haru!"_ The brunette's voice just sounded so _heartbroken_ at Haru crying. "It's okay. It'll be okay. I promise." Makoto said sympathetically, rocking Haru back and forth, trying to provide some sort of comfort to the crying boy. Makoto put his head down to nuzzle the top of Haru's hair.

Haru felt like he needed to give some sort of explanation for all this. Makoto must be so confused... But Haru himself was too. "M-Mako... I-I... don't know what to do..." He bit his lip to reign in the sob that threatened to wrack his body, as if that helped in the slightest.

Makoto petted his hair to calm him down. "Haru, Haru. It's okay, we don't have to talk about that right now. You're probably tired, you should rest." He could feel Makoto shifting under him, about to stand up and carry him to the bed.

Haru whimpered in protest and held Makoto tighter as if the olive haired boy had just threatened to leave him.

"Eh! It's okay, it's okay. I'm here." Makoto sat back down and stroked Haru's back in a deeply calming way.

They then sat like that for a long time in silence. The only sound was Haru's occasional sniffling. He knew he sounded pathetic. Like an injured kitten. But he couldn't even move, and he didn't want to. Makoto's caring embrace elicited the horror of this day. Makoto was the only one who had ever seen him like this; And Haru intended to keep it that way.

It soon occurred to him that cuddling was not exactly a thing that normal friends did. Yet, it felt so natural, just like his grandmother said it would be like when he found his soul mate.

After he had calmed down a bit, he decided he owed Makoto a further explanation. "Makoto..." Haru hiccuped a little bit. "The water..." Tears filled his eyes again. "The water rejected me."

Makoto gasped softly and cradled the smaller boy closer. "It's okay, Haru. It's just an off day. You have a lot on your mind." His voice was so tender and gentle, Haru felt his heartbeat calming down, just at Makoto's presence.

Of course Makoto would understand. He knew that when Haru was talking about the water like that, it was more of a comparison to freedom and peace, because that's just what water meant to Haru. Makoto had come to understand and love what some might consider the 'weird water obsession' Haru had. Makoto knew it was much more than that.

To his surprise, Haru felt a small, tender kiss on his temple. He looked up to Makoto with awestruck sapphire blue eyes. Makoto's green eyes were also wide, but with fear.

"Eh! I-I'm so sorry, Haru! I-I just, I just-!" He removed his hands from Haru's back to shield his face, scared he'd made a horrible mistake.

Haru rested his head back on Makoto's chest, blushing a deep red. "I-I... don't mind." He admitted and held the brunette tighter, feeling Makoto's erratic heartbeat calm down. He nudged his cheek out, inviting Makoto to do it again, but he knew Makoto wouldn't because he didn't want to push his luck.

"O-Oh." Makoto rested his hands again on Haru's back and continued soothing strokes.

"I-I was scared, Makoto... That's why I threw the race." Haru said quietly, continuing his explanation.

Makoto's tender strokes stopped for a split second. After a short pause, he asked, "Of what?"

There was a short silence.

Makoto immediately panicked, voice raising an octive higher than normal. "N-Never mind! It's okay if you don't want to-"

"Makoto. I want to." Haru took a deep breath in preparation.

"Everyone else is moving on. Everyone knows what to do except me. I'm stuck in a rut because... I want to swim but..." He bit his lip when tears clouded his vision again. Was he really about to say this? "I don't want anything to change... I want to stay here with Makoto and I don't want him to leave me..."

Haru felt Makoto's heart skip a beat in his chest. Why did he say that?! It sounded pathetic! He couldn't just tell Makoto not to leave him! Makoto could do whatever he wanted, and Haru shouldn't hold him back. The few beats of silence were some of the most painful in Haru's entire life.

"Haruka."

Haru felt his own heart skip a beat. Rarely did Makoto ever call him by his full name. Haru knew that when he did though, it signaled the peak of his love and affection, at it's highest and purest form.

"I need to tell you this, okay? I know you don't... feel the same but you need to know. Just please don't hate me." Makoto took a deep breath and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall.

Haru closed his eyes too, wanting to feel every single word he was about to say.

"I love you, Haruka. I've always loved you."

Haru felt Makoto's heart pounding out of rhythm against his face; The raven haired boy was scared Makoto was going to faint right now. Haru slowly lifted his head and sat up straight to face the taller boy.

"Makoto." He placed his hands on Makoto's face and stroked the smooth, tan skin on his cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Makoto's eyes were still closed and he was biting his lip, trembling in panic.

"Look at me." Haru said softly.

Makoto slowly opened his eyes one at a time, revealing his breathtaking emerald orbs, full of doubt, fear, and insecurity.

Haru wanted to remove that look from Makoto's beautiful face. He wanted to let him know that he felt exactly the same; But no words came out.

So Haru simply leaned forward and softly pressed their lips together, holding Makoto's face in his hands, Makoto shakily moved his large hands down to Haru's hips and pulled him closer so that there was no space between them. Haru ruffled Makoto's hair with one hand and slowly broke apart, still leaning his forehead against the taller boy's. His mind was clouded with fiery sparks and a warm glow, surrounding them both in their own world.

"I love you, Makoto." He whispered against his lips. It was the most natural thing he'd ever said; His grandmother was right. It was so easy to say since it was just _so evident in every fiber of his entire being._

It looked like a gigantic weight had been lifted off of Makoto's shoulders and the huge wall between them had been smashed to dust. Haru felt like he'd been freed from a cage; Now able to soar into the sky. A chain had been broken off of his lungs, and he could finally _breathe._

Makoto stared at him with such affectionate, sparkling, green eyes that just conveyed love beyond understanding. Haru felt his cheeks heat up, as they always did when Makoto looked at him like that; Like he was the most precious thing in the entire universe.

Haru hid his head in Makoto's shoulder, and Makoto did the same to Haru.

"Haru... Are... Are we dating...?" He asked in a confused tone.

Haru cringed at that word. _Dating_. Eh. Wasn't there a more intimate term than that? Dating didn't really describe them. They'd pretty much been dating their whole lives. Then next would be... Marriage?! But they weren't married yet either... Oh well. Dating it is.

"...Yeah..."

"This... Will change things..."

Haru looked up at Makoto's face... He looked so scared and discouraged. "I don't want us to change in a bad way..." Fear began to set into his green eyes.

"Then let's promise." Haru held out his pinky. "We won't change for the worst." Haru knew that promises always soothed Makoto; They gave him a sense of safety.

Makoto smiled a giant, adorable smile and hooked his pinky with Haru's.

"Thank you, Haruka."

Haru blushed on cue. "You can stop calling me that..."

Makoto closed his eyes in a blissfully incoherent giggle. "But it's a pretty name!" He kissed Haru's cheek. "Ah, okay. If you really don't want me to."

"Well... You can... Sometimes. If you want." Haru suggested shyly.

Makoto giggled once again and hugged him close. This was probably the happiest he'd ever seen Makoto. And Haru couldn't say that this wasn't the happiest moment in his life either.

He felt more free then he ever had before.

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 **Next chapter: Dolphin Whisperer**


	9. Dolphin Whisperer

**(Makoto's POV)**

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It was about a week after Makoto and Haru confessed, and honestly, life felt _perfect._ Makoto still could not even _comprehend_ that Haru really did like him back, that _this was actual, real life._

Makoto was really surprised that pretty much _everyone_ they told about their relationship had already guessed that it was bound to happen. Nagisa and Rei, of course, were ecstatic, Gou's eyes lit up and she started squealing in joy, Rin flashed a grin and muttered something about how it was 'about damn time', and his parents broke into tears of joy.

The thought gave him a happy shiver in his spine and he hugged the raven haired boy in his lap closer. Haru closed his eyes in bliss and sighed with a tiny, content smile. Makoto couldn't help but smile at the sight and leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. How could he have been so lucky to get an angel like Haru?

Haru's smile grew slightly. Makoto giggled and finally broke away. Haru frowned and opened his eyes, glaring up at the taller boy.

Makoto froze in fear. Had he done something wrong?!

Haru jutted out his cheek with an expectant look. The brunette giggled, realizing that Haru just wanted another kiss so he gladly obeyed the silent order. The adorable little smile reappeared on Haru's face like it had never even left.

"I love you." Makoto whispered into his ear.

Haru blushed a deep shade of pink and nuzzled into Makoto's neck. "I love you." Haru lifted his head slightly to kiss the taller boy's cheek. Makoto sighed at the feeling of his boyfriend's soft lips tracing his jawline. He didn't have to hide _anything_ anymore. Now his feelings were out, laying out raw and bare; And just to think, this whole time he'd been worried _over nothing_. All those years of doubt and insecurity were now meaningless because Haru felt the _exact same._ So this was how _free_ really felt.

"Makoto..." Haru murmured slowly, as if relishing in rolling his name off of his tongue.

"Mhm?" Makoto ran his fingers through Haru's black tresses just as the raven haired boy's eyes opened slightly. His blue eyes were slightly worried and uncertain, which was extremely alarming to Makoto. The brunette sat up straight. "Is something wrong?!"

"I... I think I'm ready to talk about my future." Haru said, fidgeting with the blanket wrapped around both of them.

Makoto's tension immediately drained and he returned to a comfortable position. "Oh. Okay. Don't feel pressured if you don't want to yet..."

Haru shook his head. "I want to." He took a deep breath. "I... want to swim, Makoto, I really do. But I don't want to swim to win... That's not who I am... I can't swim for something I don't believe in." Haru's eyes were watery and it looked like this was weighing him down a lot more than he let show.

Makoto pulled him closer. "Well... There's a lot of other jobs that involve water like... a..." He paused to think. "Um... Oh! A lifeguard...? Or a marine biologist! Or a..." Makoto's voice tapered off as he realized that there weren't as many jobs with swimming as he thought there were. Besides, Haru didn't seem too excited about those jobs anyways. Makoto decided to just start all over. "Okay, well you don't have to swim to win, I mean winning _is_ really important in professional swimming, but... it doesn't have to be your _reason_ to swim..."

Haru remained silent, as if pondering these things. Makoto panicked and tried to further explain. "W-what I'm trying to say is that winning and being free can coexist! As long as you stay who you are then you'll always be free!" Makoto slapped his hand to his face, feeling dumb. He knew he was the worst person at giving this kind of advice.

"I-I'm so sorry, I'm not making any sense."

Haru shifted in the taller boy's lap so that they were facing each other. He removed Makoto's hands from his face. "Yes you are. You're good at advice." He said softly, sapphire eyes full of sincerity. "I just don't know what to do..." The hopelessness in his voice was evident. "I think I blew any chance of swimming professionally anyways..."

Makoto placed his hands on Haru's back to pull him in closer, wanting _so badly_ to remove all despair weighing down his precious. "You know... You're so talented, Haru... You could do anything you wanted. I know that you can still make it as a swimmer if that's what you want to do. And whatever you do, it won't change who you are as long as you don't let it. I'll support anything you choose." The green eyed boy tilted his head in a loving smile.

Haru nuzzled into Makoto's chest and pulled up the blanket over his face to cover the blush that was surely consuming his face. "Thank you, Makoto. But I don't want to talk about me anymore."

Makoto kissed the top of Haru's head and they sat in silence for a while, although Makoto could sense that there was something else Haru wanted to say.

The smaller boy finally lifted up his head. "I want to talk about your future."

"Oh. Um... There's not much to talk about..." Makoto rubbed the back of his neck and smiled shyly.

Haru was not about to give up. His blue eyes narrowed in determination. "Makoto."

"Okay... Well, um..." He took a deep breath. "I think I want to be a swim coach... For um... Kids... I really love teaching them, and I _think_ I could do it..." Makoto looked down in insecurity. He probably sounded stupid. He wasn't even sure if that would even be a good job for him, much less if that was really what he should do, and-

Haru lifted up his face so that their eyes met. His lips were curved in the most caring smile. "That would be perfect for you."

Makoto mirrored his smile, feeling all trace of doubt fading in an instant.

Haru's blue eyes suddenly dimmed, his voice dropping. "I should've asked sooner... I'm sorry."

"No, no! Don't be sorry... I've been unsure about it myself... I was scared to talk about this kind of stuff too. I'm sorry." Makoto said with rising panic. The last thing he wanted was for Haru to feel guilty when it was really his own fault for being so wishy washy.

Haru sighed, not wanting to start an apologizing war. "Have you found any colleges?"

Makoto felt his heart stop. He suddenly remembered that the only college he'd applied to was the one in Tokyo that specialized in the course he was looking to take. He couldn't tell Haru about that yet... Anyways, he was hoping that when Haru decided what he wanted to do, he might come to Tokyo with him. In all actuality, there was probably no way he would go to Tokyo anyways if Haru didn't come with him. This was not a conversation he was ready to have, though.

"Um... I've been looking at a few, but I don't know yet. I'll probably just go to the local one." Makoto really wished the conversation would just end right there.

Haru closed his eyes in small smile. But this time it was almost... relieved? Either way, Makoto loved how ever since they started dating, Haru was smiling more and more. Could it really be possible that _he_ was the reason? He was so grateful for whatever possessed him that day to work up the courage to just spill his feelings like that. He still wasn't really sure HOW he'd even done that, or why Haru would reciprocate it, but he was _immensely_ thankful for it.

"Hey, do you want to go somewhere tonight? Like the park, or a movie, or a restaurant, or the aquarium, wherever you want-"

"Aquarium."

Makoto giggled and hugged the smaller boy to his chest. "I had a feeling you would say that."

Haru smiled with closed eyes and snuggled closer into the embrace.

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As expected, upon arriving at the aquarium, Haru grabbed Makoto's hand and pulled him to the closest tank he saw. The raven haired boy watched in wonder, (and envy) at the colorful fish swimming carelessly in their tank. Makoto loved how his eyes literally reflected his love for the water; How they lit up in the most beautiful way when he saw it. His nose was practically pressed up against the glass and he stared in awe at their glimmering scales. But honestly, Makoto preferred watching Haru's face rather than any breathtaking sea creature.

"Look, Makoto!" The smaller boy said excitedly, pointing at two fish.

Makoto's gaze followed where Haru was pointing and saw that he found a deep blue fish and a lime green fish who seemed to stay close together. The brunette giggled at the obvious resemblance and squeezed Haru's hand, which was still entwined in his own. Haru gazed fondly at the two fish until a tank of seahorses caught his eye and he pointed eagerly, tugging at Makoto's hand.

They got to the tank and Haru placed his hands on the glass in the most adorable, childlike way. Makoto loved going to the aquarium with Haru so much. It brought out Haru's inner child, the part of him that not many people knew existed. The part of him that was filled with wonder and innocence and and excitement, the part that Makoto knew was actually a vital part of Haru's entire being.

"That one is the West African seahorse!" Haru announced enthusiastically, making Makoto giggle. Haru's knowledge of sea creatures really was impressive. After a few minutes of watching all sorts jellyfish, puffer fish, and sting rays, (all of which Haru knew the exact name of), the shorter boy kept eyeing the hallway that led to the _real_ reason Haru loved coming here so much.

Makoto smiled tenderly. "You wanna go?"

That was all Haru needed to hear to take Makoto's hand and pull him to the hallway with the gigantic glass tank. Haru ran in front of Makoto and of course, started stripping out of his clothes although there was probably no way he would even be able to get in the water.

"Eh! Haru, wait!" Makoto captured Haru from behind to restrain him from unbuckling his pants. Haru leaned into the embrace and held Makoto's hands in place on his waist. The taller boy chuckled at the realization that Haru just wanted to be held.

"You could have just asked to cuddle." Makoto murmured.

Haru huffed with red cheeks. "Shut up." He said without a trace of menace.

Inside the crystal blue tanks, a dolphin swam close to the glass, almost greeting them. With the amount of times they visited the aquarium, Makoto wouldn't be shocked if the sea creatures remembered them. Haru's sapphire eyes sparkled, face in awe at the majestic animal. He reached out a hand to the glass, and Makoto knew that Haru wanted so badly to touch it. The dolphin reciprocated by gently bumping its nose against the glass, earning a tender smile from both of the boys. The dolphin soon returned to its pod, throwing one last glance in the two boys' direction.

Haru pointed at the top right corner of the tank. "Look!"

Makoto barely had time to look in that direction when Haru turned his head around ever so slightly and pressed their lips together. Makoto was taken aback, but closed his eyes and kissed him back.

When they finally broke apart, Makoto giggled. "You tricked me again!"

Haru smiled softly in return. "You're just gullible."

Makoto tucked his head into Haru's shoulder, still giggling quietly.

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After returning home from their date, Makoto invited Haru to spend the night at his house, to which he gladly accepted. Makoto's mother greeted them at the door and was ecstatic that Haru was staying over, not squandering the opportunity to embarrass Makoto for the umpteenth time since they started dating.

"You know, I would always tell him that you two would end up together, but he was just so scared to tell you because he really thought you wouldn't like him! Ridiculous, right?"

Makoto covered his face with his hands, feeling Haru's smirk.

"Yeah, it is ridiculous." Haru agreed.

"I know! And he always talks about you, like just yesterday-"

" Mom, please!" Makoto put his hands up in a halting motion.

"Okay, okay. I'm done. Just remember, there's kids in the house, so if you plan on _doing things_ , lock your door, be quiet, and-"

" _Mom!_ "

Makoto felt his heart catch in his throat and his blush completely engulf his cheeks. Did his mother have no shame?! He tried to stutter anything to let her know that they did not, in fact, plan on doing _such things_ tonight, but it came out as tiny, embarrassed squeaks. He glanced over at Haru whose cheeks were also veiled in pink, eyes containing a particular sparkle. The smaller boy shrugged and agreed to his mother's conditions, nevertheless. Makoto gasped at how nonchalant he was about it. Was he actually planning on doing _those types of things?_!

"H-Haru!"

Makoto's mother chuckled and left the room.

Makoto felt himself trembling. He wasn't ready for those things! They just started dating and he had no idea about things like that, and frankly, he was scared of them! He knew that doing those things so early in their relationship would probably not be for the best, also he was quite sure that he would burst into tears after the first 5 minutes, and he was sure that there was _no way_ that he would even be good at it, and he definitely would not be what Haru deserves,-

"Makoto. Relax. We were just kidding."

Makoto felt himself deflate in a sigh of relief and heart return to a safe pace. "O-Oh." He said lamely, now feeling stupid for getting so worried over nothing.

Haru placed his hands on Makoto's cheeks, looking into his eyes with concern. "Makoto. It's okay. We won't do that until we're both ready. Don't worry."

The taller boy nodded and his lips curved into a gentle smile. He was so thankful that Haru understood without him having to verbalize his concerns.

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Makoto actually found the futon tonight, but neither was keen on using it. They both climbed into bed and faced each other, just like always. But it was different this time. A _good_ different.

Makoto smiled warmly when he realized that Haru was wearing his oversized shirt. "You 'forgot' to bring clothes again?"

Haru's lips curved slightly he and shook his head. "I like wearing yours." He admitted.

Makoto giggled and gently reached out his hand to touch Haru's face. "I like you in them better anyways."

Haru blushed a bright pink and covered his face with the blanket. Makoto suddenly felt the bed moving slightly, and realized that Haru was trying to stealthily scoot closer to him. The taller boy chuckled softly and he too, scooted closer to Haru until their bodies were touching.

Haru hesitantly laid his head against Makoto's chest, and Makoto instinctively wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Both were sure it was the most comfortable place in the world. Makoto leaned his head down and kissed the top of his fluffy black hair, savoring Haru's calming scent; Lavender and an ever present hint of chlorine. It was one Makoto had come to love _so much._

Just to think that a beautiful angel like Haru was in his arms right now. Just to think that after all these years of knowing it would never happen, it was no longer fiction. This was real life. And it was _much_ better than any dream or fantasy he could ever imagine.

Haru rested one arm around Makoto's back, the other on his chest, his delicate fingers tracing every curve and indent. The brunette smiled and rubbed soothing circles into Haru's back. The raven haired boy soon let out a tiny yawn at the calming embrace. Makoto decided that this was an indication that they needed to go to sleep.

"Goodnight, Haru. I love you."

"Goodnight, Makoto. I love you."

Their lips met for a lingering kiss before they both drifted off to sleep, safe in each other's arms.

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 **Next Chapter: Nothing Gold Can Stay**


	10. Nothing Gold Can Stay

**(Haru's POV)**

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"I just can't get over how happy Haru-chan looks all the time now!" Nagisa pointed out happily.

Haru, who realized he was smiling at Makoto with wide eyes probably in the shape of hearts, returned his face to a blank expression like the flip of a switch.

"Shut up." He said without any menace. His cheesy little smile only returned when Makoto laughed in the most adorable way, his head thrown back slightly and eyes closed in bliss, mouth half parted, releasing the most beautiful sound imaginable.

"See! He's smiling again! Mako-chan must be a miracle worker!" Nagisa swooned.

Haru sighed and decided to not fight it anymore.

Yes, he was smiling. And Makoto was the reason. And he didn't care _who knew._

Makoto scratched his cheek shyly, wearing a tiny smile. "N-Not really..."

Haru placed his hand on Makoto's thigh, silently inviting him to hold his hand. The taller boy blushed and entwined their fingers eagerly. They both sighed in unison at the feeling of closeness.

"I bet you're both thanking me now." The little blonde continued triumphantly.

Haru glared at him, not wanting to remember that day. "Nagisa."

"Too soon?" Nagisa tilted his head.

"I guess you _did_ help... Don't you think you were a little _blunt,_ though?" Makoto tried to put it in the kindest way possible.

Nagisa shrugged. "It worked, didn't it?"

Haru's eyes narrowed. "But you upset Makoto." He said grimly, remembering all the horrible mixes of emotions he felt that day, with the awkwardness, and then Makoto thought he liked _Rin,_ and then the crushing realization that he _had absolutely nothing planned for his future,_ and that Makoto could _leave him_ \- The thought was enough to make him sick to stomach and he felt panic begin to set in; _Just at the thought._

"Too soon." He sighed. "Oh well, you'll thank me someday!" His magenta eyes were triumphant.

The bell in the cafeteria rang, and all the boys stood up, gathering their lunches. The raven haired boy was reluctant to let go of Makoto's hand, especially when he had just been reminded of one of the worst days of his life. Haru sighed in disappointment. His next class was bittersweet: It was art, it was the only class that he and Makoto didn't share.

"See you guys at practice." The brunette said to Nagisa and Rei. "See you later, babe." Makoto smiled and leaned down to give Haru a quick kiss, but not a shabby one. He cupped the shorter boy's face and softly put their lips together, lingering for a few seconds because he didn't want to break away, but if he didn't, he would be late.

Neither of them really cared who saw it, in fact, Haru would be surprised if the whole school didn't know that they were dating by now.

Haru blushed at the adorably embarrassing new nickname. _Babe_. "Bye, Makoto."

Makoto smiled warmly once more and went off to his next class, Haru smiling back at him.

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Makoto and Haru agreed to meet up after practice, as they always did. Except today Makoto would be late because he had to go to the store and pick up some groceries. He invited Haru to come with him, but Haru declined, deciding that he didn't need to put off the chores he had at his house any longer. The brunette insisted that he would help him, but Haru told him that he should take care of his own chores first. Makoto sighed, knowing that Haru was right, and said he would be back in about an hour, and would help Haru with his chores if he wasn't already finished when he got back.

Haru pulled out the broom and began to sweep his kitchen floor, which had _obviously_ not been cleaned in a long time. Just as he started, he heard his phone ring from his bedroom. With a groan, he set down the broom and went to his room to retrieve the noisy device. He sighed when he saw that it Rin was calling. What did he want?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Haru."

Haru blinked. Where was the snappy, annoying comment? He felt genuinely worried. Rin's voice was strangely... Pleasant?

"Are you okay?" Haru asked in all seriousness.

"What do you mean, 'am I okay?' I'm fucking GREAT." His voice sounded like he was in a dreamlike state.

Haru's eyes widened in realization. "Rin, are you on _drugs?_ "

"No! Idiot! I just, I-I... Ah, fuck, how do I say this..."

He could practically hear the blush creeping down Rin's face. Haru waited impatiently for Rin to spit out what he was trying to say.

"Um... Me and Sousuke are... Uh, together."

Haru finally exhaled in relief. So Rin _wasn't_ under the influence. Maybe.

"I thought you didn't _like him_?" Haru teased.

"Shut up!"

Haru 'tch'ed and picked up the broom to continue his sweeping, leaving the phone on the counter on speaker.

"So how long have you been going out?"

"A little after you and Makoto."

Haru narrowed his eyes. "Why did you wait so long to say anything?"

"Well... I've been kind of _busy_ , if you know what I mean." Rin snickered at his own joke.

Haru didn't get it. "Busy doing what?"

" _Things_."

The raven haired boy waited for further explanation.

" _With Sousuke._ "

His blue eyes widened in shock as he finally registered what Rin was implying. _Oh. Those kinds of things._

"O-Oh." He said lamely, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Honestly, Haru, you can be so dense. Anyways, I mean you should see the _size_ of-"

"I don't want to know!" Haru cut him off.

"So have you and Makoto-"

" _NO_!" He was glad he was alone because he was sure that his blush was completely consuming his face. He _did not_ want to discuss such private things! He and Makoto had _not_ in fact done such things, so he wanted to end the topic right there. Even if they had, it was none of Rin's business!

"... Been doing good?" Rin asked in a confused tone.

"O-Oh..." His heart calmed down, realizing that Rin wasn't asking about _that_. "It's been perfect..."

"So I guess you owe _someone_ a 'thank you', hmm?" Rin mocked.

"Shut up." Haru rolled his eyes. Why were all of his friends so insistent on being thanked? It wasn't even because of them. It was _fate._

"Anyways, I gotta go to. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Haru hung up the phone and decided that his floor was now clean enough. He put on a load of laundry, washed dishes, and vacuumed the house until an hour had passed. He then sat on the couch, awaiting Makoto to knock on the door.

5 minutes passed.

10 minutes passed.

20 minutes passed.

Haru worriedly eyed the clock. Where was he?

Another 5 minutes passed in silence when Haru decided to go check Makoto's house. He went out his front door and down the stairs to Makoto's house in a flash, anxiety clouding his thoughts. He rushed up to the Tachibana house and knocked on the door. No one was home yet. Haru stepped back, shoulders slumping because he wanted Makoto to be home already. What was taking him so long? Maybe he ran into a friend at the store... Yes, that must be it.

He was just about to go back home until a letter sticking out of the Tachibana mailbox caught his eye. The envelope was decorated with a golden seal on the front and the name of some prestigious college. He recognized it, of course. It was one of the best colleges in Japan. Haru hesitantly took the letter out of the mailbox. On the fancy envelope were the words: 'Acceptance Letter Enclosed.'

Haru didn't recall Makoto telling him about applying there.

He tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat, to no avail.

One word stuck out in the address.

Tokyo.

Makoto got accepted into a college in Tokyo. One of the _best_ colleges around. There was _no way_ he could refuse going there.

Tokyo was eight hours away.

 _Makoto was leaving._

Full blown terror began to set in. Tears clouded his vision as he stuffed the envelope back into the mailbox, running back to his house and locking the door behind him. He leaned on the door for support before collapsing to the floor in a broken mess.

Makoto was leaving.

 _Makoto was leaving._

Makoto _lied_ to him.

Makoto probably didn't want Haru to tag along, that's why he didn't tell him. Makoto wanted to go far, far away so that he could meet different people and forget all about him.

A pitiful noise escaped his lips, echoing through his empty house, several more following that one.

The only one who had ever completely understood him, the only who cared enough to figure him out, the only one he trusted _with every ounce of his life,_ the only one he's ever loved so strongly, _with everything he had_ ,-

Was abandoning him.

Images of his green eyed lover flashed through his head in a blur, his innocent laugh making him lightheaded, his beautiful smile manifesting in his mind over and over again.

He sobbed into his hands, a heartbroken whimper making his whole body tremble in panic.

The fact was burned into his mind.

Makoto was _leaving._

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 **Next chapter: Strawberry Lies**


	11. Strawberry Lies

**(Makoto's POV)**

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After Makoto had bought all the groceries on his list, a particular item on the way out of the store caught his eye. It was a big plush dolphin, that adorably reminded him of Haru. He picked up the stuffed animal and was considering buying it as a surprise gift for Haru when he saw a mop of strawberry hair out of the corner of his eye.

' _Oh no_.' Makoto thought. He wanted to get back home to Haru quickly, but if Kisumi saw him and started talking, he might be there for another _hour_. He was about to set the dolphin down and rush out of the store before Kisumi saw him, but he was not fast enough.

"Makoto!" He heard the unmistakable voice from behind him.

Makoto sighed and turned around, fabricating a smile. "Kisumi."

On cue, the candy floss haired boy slung his arm around Makoto's neck in an embrace, making the brunette tense up and try to awkwardly scoot away.

All he could think about is what Haru would do if he were here. He would _really_ be worried for Kisumi's health.

Kisumi noticed Makoto inching away and pulled back with a pout. "What's the matter? We haven't seen each other in like _two weeks_."

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck and continued to scoot further away until they were at an appropriate distance. "Well... Me and Haru started dating... I shouldn't be so intimate with other people, don't you think?" He chuckled without humor. He really just wanted to get out of here and go back to Haru. He didn't know _why_ or _how_ , but a tiny, subconscious part of his mind felt like something was wrong, and he _needed_ to go back home to his boyfriend.

" _Dating_ , are you?" Kisumi said with a particular glint in his purple eyes, face suddenly morphing into a grimace."That's interesting..."

Makoto tilted his head to the side. "Interesting?"

"Well, it's just, I was always so _sure_ that he was in love with _Rin_." Kisumi shrugged.

Makoto felt his heart come to a crashing halt in his chest. So then... He _wasn't_ the only one who thought that.

"You... You thought that too?"

Kisumi chuckled darkly. "I think _everyone_ thought that. Have you not seen how he looks at Rin? How he talks to him? I thought _you_ of all people would be able to see who Haru really loves."

 _Everyone._ It was _obvious_ to _everyone_ that Haru loved Rin. Why hadn't anyone _told him_? Were they just leading him on for their amusement?

All Makoto could do was stand there with a growing lump in his throat.

"But then again, it was also obvious that you liked Haru." Kisumi said nonchalantly, as if what he was saying was just common sense. "You barely notice anyone else when he's around..." He mumbled quietly.

Makoto's breath hitched in his throat, knees suddenly feeling weak.

"It's sad, really." Kisumi picked up the dolphin Makoto had just been holding, fidgeting with it. "I mean, it's always been pretty evident that you like Haru, Haru likes Rin, and Rin likes Sousuke." He lolled his head from side to side with each name. He gave a humorless chuckle. "Unrequited love, huh?" Kisumi bit his lip as if he were having a sad inside joke with himself.

Makoto couldn't even find anything to say. He just stood there frozen, entire body trembling at what Kisumi was saying. It couldn't be true, _could it_? Haru said _he loved him_.

Kisumi looked up from the dolphin he was playing with to see Makoto's heartbroken expression. "But what do I know?" He shrugged again. "I'm just _saying_ that maybe you're _not his first choice._ "

"H-Haru wouldn't lie like that!" Makoto choked out in panic, hopelessly trying to defend what felt like a lost cause at this point. He felt his world crumbling around him with every word the cotton candy haired boy said, yet he couldn't stop listening to him.

Kisumi raised an eyebrow. "He wouldn't? What if he just _feels sorry for you_? And considering all you and your family has done for him, I wouldn't be surprised if he felt _obligated_ to be around you."

Makoto felt a thump and a crack inside his chest. He felt like an idiot. It was just _so obvious_. Everyone knew. Everyone was probably laughing behind his back at how _stupid_ he was to believe that Haru would actually love him. He was a _joke._

But Kisumi wasn't done yet.

"Or even worse, he could just be _using_ you to make Rin jealous. I mean, you've heard that Rin and Sousuke are going out, right? For about a week, I think. I bet Haru just wants Rin to notice him." The words rolled off of his tongue like poisonous honey. "It's a common tactic."

Makoto didn't want to believe what Kisumi was saying. He _really didn't._ He knew how untrustworthy the bubblegum haired boy could be, but Makoto could not deny that what he was saying _made sense_. Everything made sense. And he had been a _fool_ to believe that someone as perfect as Haru would actually _love_ him. Tears clouded his dull emerald eyes.

No.

 _No_.

It _couldn't_ be true.

Haru was the only person he could trust with anything and everything, the only one who could make him smile on the worst of days, the only one who fully understood him and eased all of his worries, the only one he could honestly say he wanted to be with _forever_ , the only one he loved with every single piece of his soul,-

Was it all a lie?

Was their entire relationship a byproduct of Haru's pity for him?

Or was he just a tool?

Or a joke?

Whatever he was, _he was useless._

Kisumi put the dolphin back on the rack and stepped closer to Makoto. "All I know," He whispered into the brunette's ear. "Is that I would _never_ hurt you like that."

Tears began to stream down Makoto's face, and he barely even heard what Kisumi said.

He needed to get out of here.

Makoto stuttered a quick "I have to go," as he turned around and ran out of the store.

As soon as he bolted out of the door, the beginning of a harsh sob grew in his chest. He darted past all the eyes staring at him with concern and just focused on getting home.

He had no idea how he was ever going to face Haru in this state, or even what to say. But he _did_ know that he wanted Haru in his arms, but not if it was just a _lie_ .

As soon as he got home, he was completely out of breath, and sobbing so pitifully. He ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach. Makoto was trembling violently as he ran cold water over his face. There was no way he could face Haru like this.

He was a _complete wreck._

But he needed to know, right now, if Haru really loved him.

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 **Next Chapter: Unravelling**


	12. Unravelling

**(Haru's POV)**

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Haru hugged his knees close to his chest and rocked himself, trying to replicate the feeling of Makoto's warm embrace, but the thought only made the ache in his chest a thousand times worse.

Because Makoto would be gone soon.

At the end of this summer, his other half would be moving away.

And Makoto hadn't even told him.

A desperate sob ripped through his throat, an octive higher than his normal voice. He suddenly realized that he needed to pull himself together because Makoto would be here soon. Haru shakily rose to his feet, bones feeling like paper. He had to lean on the wall for support as he made his way to the bathroom to wash his face. Looking into the mirror, he saw a pathetic, puffy eyed, sniveling, monster. There was no way his boyfriend wouldn't know that something was wrong. He could barely even stop crying.

Haru conjured up his best normal face. He just had to look like nothing was wrong. Nothing at all happened while Makoto was at the store. He had just been cleaning and some dust happened to get in his eyes. And as soon as Makoto left, he could go back to wallowing in his despair.

He thought being in a relationship meant that they wouldn't have to hide anything anymore.

He was _so_ wrong.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Haru felt himself begin to tremble again, signaling the beginning of another break down. He bit his tongue and steadied himself, walking to the door and taking a deep breath before opening it. Haru held the door open without looking into his boyfriend's green eyes.

"Hey Haru. " His voice was broken. It sounded extremely unnatural, and his Makoto senses were alerting him that something was _horribly_ wrong here. He finally looked up into those emerald eyes to confirm. His eyes were reddish in the corners and his skin was sickeningly pale with a slight tremble.

"Come in." Haru winced at his own voice. He sounded so pitiful.

Makoto gave a smile that was barely even trying to look real. "Thanks."

Haru closed the door behind them and sat down at the couch with the taller boy.

"Need me to help with chores?" Makoto asked in the same scratchy voice that was trying half heartedly to sound happy.

What was wrong with him?

Haru shook his head.

They both sat down at the couch, sitting an unnatural distance apart. Makoto was strangely silent, staring at the floor with dull green eyes. He didn't even try to start up a conversation.

Silence.

Haru wondered if he had seen his acceptance letter yet. Was that what he was upset about? That didn't make sense! Shouldn't he be happy? Was this not what he wanted? To go to a college far away from this tiny town to rid himself of Haru?

The raven haired boy felt his heart throb painfully. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Makoto."

The brunette continued to stare at the floor. "Hm?"

"There's something you're not telling me."

Makoto's next words shocked him.

"There's something you're not telling me either." He finally lifted up his head to face Haru, his green eyes dim with hurt.

Haru glared at him. "There's _nothing_ I haven't told you. I tell you _everything._ "

"Well I bet you know that Rin and Sousuke are together." The taller boy looked straight into his eyes, closely watching his reaction.

Haru's brows furrowed in frustrated confusion. "Why does that matter?"

Makoto shrugged. "You tell me."

Haru huffed. What was that supposed to mean? "You're not making any sense."

The brunette just shrugged again and began to stare at the floor.

Silence.

Why did Makoto care that Haru knew Rin and Sousuke were going out? Why did he think that Haru wasn't telling him something? Why was he being so _quiet_?

Haru suddenly remembered that Makoto didn't respond to his first statement.

"You didn't answer me."

"What do you want to know?" Makoto asked like he had no idea what Haru was talking about.

"I _already_ know!" Haru half yelled in agitation. He was tired of Makoto playing dumb. He _had_ to know what he was talking about.

Makoto tilted his head to the side wearing a confused expression. "What?"

Haru groaned. "You _know_."

"I... I really don't."

Haru narrowed his eyes. "You _don't_?" He hissed. "Maybe the word _Tokyo_ will ring a bell."

Makoto's confused expression morphed in realization. "H-Haru... I-"

His blue eyes filled with tears again as he stood up. He didn't want to hear any excuses. "You didn't want me to know, didn't you? You kept it from me so that you could just _leave_!"

" _No_ " Makoto's voice rose as he stood up too. "I didn't think it mattered because I'm a _burden_ anyways!"

" _WHAT?_ " Haru yelled in disbelief. After all this, Makoto _still_ believed that? The idea of Makoto being a burden was the most _absurd_ thing he'd ever heard, right next to the idea of himself being in love with Rin.

"I'm useless, just admit it! You don't have to feel sorry for me! Just admit that you'd rather have _Rin_!" Makoto's eyes were also gleaming with unshed tears. His voice sounded so _heartbroken_ , it was foreign and so unlike Makoto. In fact, everything he was _saying_ was unlike Makoto. Something must have really gotten to him for him to blow up like this.

Haru was sure that Makoto was probably too worked up to realize what he was saying right now.

But unfortunately, so was Haru.

" _That's not true!_ " Haru yelled. "Why don't you _trust_ me?" His frustration grew with every single word.

"I _do_ trust you and that's why I can't _lose you_! " Makoto's tears finally spilled over the corners of his dull green eyes, making something inside Haru finally _snap_ , abandoning any sort of reason or coherence.

"Then why are you _leaving me_?" Haru clenched his fists as his tears also rolled down his cheeks.

"I'm _not_!"

"Don't lie to me!" He shouted, betrayal obvious in his voice.

"Haru..." Makoto's eyes were filled with such agonizing pain. His voice weak and tired. It was evident that he didn't want to fight anymore.

Neither did Haru.

This was not supposed to happen.

Where had everything gone wrong? Just this morning, they were the happiest couple on the planet, and now they were both full of hurt and insecurity.

What changed?

We're they... not meant to be?

No.

 _No_.

They _had_ to be. It was _fate_ , wasn't it? He had been so _sure_ ; _Everyone_ had told him. They were _perfect_ for each other. It was _natural_.

But what if it wasn't meant to be?

Would... He lose Makoto...? _Forever_?

Panic swarmed Haru's mind, clouding any coherent thought.

He was truly _terrified_ of that thought, more than anything.

No, he decided.

He would not let that happen.

He would _not_ let this get any worse.

Haru turned around and darted out of his own house, not giving Makoto's heartbroken face another glance. His lungs felt like they were filled with fire as he ran down the stairs, and he faintly heard his name being called behind him over the loud pounding of his heart in his eardrums. His tears clouded his vision, eliciting a weak sob from deep within his chest. The sob turned into an ugly cry, mixed with gasping and sniffling when he finally decided he was far enough away from his home to lean against the wall of a small store.

He spotted a phone booth nearby and shakily walked towards it and deposited a coin he found in his pocket.

Now he had to enter a number. He stared at the phone.

Who could he call?

Nagisa and Rei, he remembered were out on a date tonight, and likely wouldn't be home until late.

That cancelled out half the people he knew.

There was only one person left then, so he prayed this would work.

His heart was still pounding painfully as the phone rang for a few seconds. The rough voice eventually answered.

"Who is this?"

"Rin, it's Haru. I need a place to stay."

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 **Next Chapter: Land Down Under**


	13. Land Down Under

**(Haru's POV)**

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Rin pulled out the futon in his small dorm for Haru to sleep on. The raven haired boy was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest, biting his tongue because he _couldn't_ cry in front of Rin, much less Sousuke.

Sousuke laid in his top bunk, head leaning over the railing to watch Haru in an unsettling way, his teal eyes burning holes into the back of his head.

"So um... Haru." Rin's voice broke into the awkward silence. "I'm going to Australia tomorrow, and Sousuke is going back home to visit his family.

Sousuke rolled his eyes and took his head off of the railing to lean into his bed, obviously upset with what Rin was about to say.

"I've got an extra ticket. What do you say?"

There was a muffled grunt from the top bunk, to which Rin glared at, with a warning, "Sousuke!"

Haru contemplated. He didn't really want to go if it caused problems for Rin and Sousuke, and leaving the country would be quite troublesome, but then again, the longer he were out of the country, the longer he didn't have to deal with-

"Fine." Haru decided. He would do _anything_ as long as he didn't have to face those hurt green eyes for a while, even if it meant leaving the country at such a short notice.

There was an overly conspicuous coughing fit from the top bunk.

"Shut up, Sousuke! We already talked about this!" The maroon haired boy hissed. Haru could only _imagine_ what a conversation that must have been.

"Fine. I'm going to sleep." Sousuke said indignantly and rolled over to face the wall.

"He's such a pissbaby when he's jealous." Rin whispered to Haru.

" _I_ _HEARD THAT_!"

"Goodnight babe, you know I love you." The red haired boy smiled. One that Haru was shocked by, because despite the sharp teeth, it looked _gentle._ Happy. Loving. It was an emotion he solemnly saw on Rin's face.

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too." Sousuke said, still obviously disgruntled by this situation.

Haru felt a dull ache grow in his chest. A sharp reminder of him and Makoto always saying "I love you," before going to sleep. Would he ever even hear the words from Makoto's lips again?

His heart came to a crashing halt.

Would they be able to even repair their relationship? Haru didn't even know where to _start_. They'd never had a fight like this before. Could it even be called a fight? It was more like they were both just hurting and insecure so they started yelling about it. Yes, that was it, Haru decided. Not a fight at all! Just a major miscommunication.

But whatever it was, Haru could not deny that it would have an impact on their relationship. And the fact that Makoto was leaving far away into a big city and huge university with tons of new people and surroundings still reared its ugly head in Haru's mind. And it was quite obvious to Haru that Makoto did not want him to come with him, or else he would have told him sooner.

Now _that_ was disturbing.

 _Makoto didn't want him to come with him._

 _Makoto was tired of him._

 _Makoto didn't need him._

"Haru!"

The smaller boy snapped back into reality and realized that Rin had been trying to talk to him for a while. "S-sorry. What?"

"Your lip is bleeding." Rin pointed out, throwing him a pack of tissues.

Haru suddenly realized that he had bitten his lip too hard and the metallic taste flooded his mouth. He put the tissue to his mouth to mop up the red liquid.

"Are you alright?" Rin's eyebrows knitted together in concern.

Haru didn't want to answer that. He hated lying, but telling the truth meant having to explain, and that was the last thing he wanted to do right now. There was no way he would even be able to pretend he was okay, as broken as he was. So he simply shrugged and turned away.

Rin sighed. "Haru... I... Don't know what happened between you two, but-"

"We're not talking about that." Haru snapped. He felt his heart pounding harshly just at the _thought_ of having to talk about it. Just the _thought_ of having to say Makoto's name. Just the _thought_ of those pained green eyes-

Rin opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but then just closed it and shook his head. He turned off the lights and got into his bed.

Needless to say, Haru didn't get much sleep that night.

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Haru groggily woke up, or rather got up, as he never really slept at all last night. Rin had already been up for a while and he had just finished packing.

"I guess you didn't bring anything?" Rin asked.

"Just my wallet." He checked inside it to find that thankfully, his passport was inside along with his credit card.

"Do you want to go to your house-"

"No." Haru cut him off. He was not going back there. All the memories of last night would come flooding back as soon as he stepped inside. Or even worse, he might run into _Makoto_ , or he might even still be in his house _waiting for him_.

Rin 'tch'ed. "It's only a few days I guess. You can borrow some of my stuff and buy whatever else you need."

Haru nodded absently. He didn't really register anything he just heard. He just wanted to get out of this town.

Rin and Sousuke kissed and said their bloated goodbyes, leaving Haru feeling much like a third wheel.

When they finally left went to the airport, Haru could not have been happier to get the _hell_ out of Iwatobi.

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Australia was a beautiful place, Haru supposed. It _would_ be. If he could focus on anything besides olive hair, angelic laughs, sweet smiles, emerald eyes-

Haru felt his a sharp pain in his chest. _Makoto_.

"Haru!" Rin waved his hand in front of his face.

"What?" The raven haired boy broke from his train of thought.

"Jeez. It's time to get off."

Haru only then realized that the bus they were on had stopped. He stood up and followed the red haired boy.

Haru's mind drifted off as they walked down the sidewalk. He didn't even care where they were going, he was just grateful he weren't home right now. But he couldn't help but wonder what Makoto was doing right now. Was Makoto as upset as he was? Did he miss him? The shorter boy suddenly remembered that he hadn't even told Makoto where he was going.

Haru huffed. Well now Makoto might know what it feels like.

"Here we are!" Rin announced and ran out into the beach, motioning Haru to follow.

Haru's stomach turned at the sight of water. What was the point if he didn't have a future? What was the point if he wasn't free? What was the point if he didn't have _Makoto?_

Rin seemed to be enjoying himself, though. He ran up to the shore and kicked his feet in the water like a little kid. Haru sat on the sand and pulled his knees up to his chest, for the first time, feeling absolutely _revolted_ at water.

The water was a traitor, and freedom was an illusion.

"Haru!" Rin shouted.

The blue eyed boy jumped a little bit as he returned to real life. "Sorry."

Rin sighed. "I thought for sure you would want to get in the water..."

Haru didn't respond.

Rin sighed again and came beside Haru, plopping down on the sand. "Listen, Haru. You don't need to be so upset, okay? It was just one fight. I mean, Sousuke and me fight too."

Haru visibly flinched. "We're not talking about this!"

"Dammit, Haru we need to! You can't just keep pushing stuff like this down!"

Haru looked away to hide the crushing hurt that was surely present on his face. "You don't understand... It was our first fight."

Rin groaned. "You're both acting like it's the end of the fucking world after one fucking fight. It's gonna be okay, Haru! It's just that neither of you know how to handle it."

Was he really just making a big deal out of nothing? It didn't feel that way... But maybe Rin was right; Maybe he was just being paranoid. Maybe this fight wasn't such a big deal after all. But still... That didn't change the agonizing betrayal he couldn't help but feel.

"It wasn't even like a fight." He looked for a word to even describe what it was without having to explain the details, but he sighed, because there wasn't really a way around it. "He's... going to a university in Tokyo, Rin. And he never even told me about it." Haru winced at the foul words coming out of his mouth. They didn't sound right. It sounded like a foreign concept that Makoto would ever do something like that, much less without telling Haru.

"How did you find out?"

"I found the acceptance letter in his mail."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe he doesn't even intend on going there? Or maybe he was going to ask you to come with him?"

"Why would he refuse to go to one of the most prestigious schools in the country? Why would he wait so long to tell me anything?" Haru could hear the helplessness in his own voice.

 _He never makes such huge decisions without telling me_ , Haru wanted to say, but he couldn't force the words out.

Rin shook his head. "Listen, I'm not going to just give you the answer because you two need to learn to work that out on your own. But I can honestly say that I know Makoto wouldn't just leave you just like that and cut all ties with you. You _know_ that."

Haru felt a little ashamed. Considering Makoto's entire personality and nature, it did sound pretty ridiculous to think that the kind brunette would just completely abandon and forget about him.

"But, Rin... He still thinks I like you..."

Rin raised an eyebrow and let out a humorless huff. "Jeez, I knew he was oblivious but that's..." He shook his head and didn't finish. " _Wow_."

Haru felt the shred of hope he had disintegrate.

Rin noticed this. "But, I mean, I'm sure things will work out if you just talk to him! All of your fucking problems come from hiding things from each other!"

The raven haired boy knew it was true. Him and Makoto's worst problem was keeping things hidden purely to prevent hurting each other, but the flaw in this was that it actually had the opposite effect in the end. If Makoto had only _told_ him that he still wondered if Haru liked Rin. If only he _told_ Makoto that his worst fear was losing him. If only Makoto _told_ him that he felt like a burden.

Then that huge blowout might not have happened.

Or maybe Haru was the oblivious one. Maybe Makoto had been obviously suffering this entire time and he hadn't even noticed because he was too busy being pampered and spoiled by Makoto's love. He felt a heart wrenching pang of guilt.

And the disturbing thought settled in, that if they were already fighting after one _week_ , how were they going to make it for a _lifetime_?

Haru felt a knot twist painfully in his stomach because he was sure that Makoto was the only one he ever wanted to be with forever.

"And Haru... Don't let this discourage you... Just because you had one fight doesn't mean that you're not gonna make it together. It just means that you need to learn how to deal with shit like this." Rin stared down at the sand like what he was saying was from personal experience.

This was a very different side of Rin, Haru noticed. And it was strangely... Not obnoxious.

"Rin... Thanks." He looked away to hide his small statement of appreciation.

The red eyed boy shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He stood up and suggested that they go to the hotel since it was getting dark.

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Rin checked in at the front desk and led the way to their room. He stopped at their door and twisted the key in to turn the knob.

" _HUH_?!" Rin shouted upon entering the room.

Haru's jaw dropped in horror at what laid in front of them.

One bed.

The _honeymoon_ suite.

" _WHAT THE HELL IS THIS_?!" Rin's eyes glinted angrily in blood red.

Haru stood there speechless.

"They had one fucking job and they fucked it up, _I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!_ Four star hotel, _my ass!_ This is-"

"Rin. Calm down." Haru was extremely uncomfortable with this set up too, but he really was worried about Rin's health. It seemed like the red haired boy was seconds away from blowing a fuse.

"Like hell I will! Sousuke would _literally_ explode if he knew about this! He was so worried something like this would happen..."

Haru felt another pang of guilt in the very thought of how Makoto would feel about him sleeping in the same bed as Rin.

He would be heartbroken.

That was enough to make him _extremely_ furious.

"We have to get another room." He agreed in rising panic.

"That's what I've fucking been say- Oh _never fucking mind,_ I don't have time for this!" Rin went out the door, slamming it unnecessarily harshly.

After a few minutes, Rin came back into the room, face twisted into grim disgust and fury. "This is the only room." He said through clenched teeth.

Haru cursed under his breath. He _couldn't._ He couldn't betray Makoto like this. He felt his eyes watering up. Makoto would never betray him like this. Makoto would never leave the country without telling him.

And Makoto wouldn't go off to college without telling him.

Haru felt like an _asshole._

"Makoto... He would be so upset..." Haru said just above a whisper. The raven haired boy sank to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest. "He would never do this to me..."

Rin groaned. "That's it. I can't have you moping around anymore." He took out his phone and pressed some buttons.

"W-What are you doing?!" Haru's blue eyes widened in terror. Was Rin... Calling _him_?! "Stop!"

He rose to his feet and tried to take the phone away, but Rin successfully dodged him.

It rang for a few seconds while Haru desperately tried to escape, but Rin blocked the door.

The ringing stopped along with Haru's heartbeat.

"Hello, Rin? Is everything okay?"

Haru's lungs tightened and his stomach jumped at the sound of that _beautiful_ voice. He was painfully reminded of just how much he _missed_ it.

"Hey, Makoto. Haru wants to talk to you." Rin continued despite Haru's obvious disagreement.

He _couldn't_ talk to him. What would he say?! Makoto probably didn't even _want_ to talk to him. His whole body trembled in fear.

"He... He does?" Makoto asked with doubt.

Rin didn't respond and suddenly shoved the phone into the shorter boy's hand. Haru held the phone cautiously like a bomb. His hands shook as he raised the phone to his ear. He _could_ just end the call right now if he wanted to.

But Rin knew that he _wouldn't._

"H-Haru?"

"Makoto!" He accidentally cried out.

Rin rolled his eyes and left the room, muttering something about 'idiot romantics' and going to jog.

"Haru, are you okay?" Haru could hear the extreme level of concern in his pure voice; The familiarity was so refreshing.

"M-Makoto..." He whimpered, losing any trace of self control or pride. "I'm sorry."

He heard an almost inaudible gasp from the other side. "No, no! Sweetheart, it's my fault! I'm so sorry, Haru." His voice was sweeter than honey, and Haru indulged in its instantly calming effect. And most importantly, Makoto calling him _sweetheart_. Haru knew that Makoto was the only person who _dared_ to call him sweet; Or rather, the only person who was allowed. Butterflies took flight in his stomach.

"I love you, Makoto."

"Oh, Haru. I love you so much." Haru could practically hear the loving smile in his voice, it gave him such a warm, cozy feeling. The feeling was interrupted by the realization that he hadn't told Makoto he was in a _different continent_ yet.

"Um... Makoto... I'm in Australia... With Rin. I-I meant to tell you-"

There was a tiny giggle from the other side, making all the tension instantly drain from his body.

"Don't worry. I know."

He raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"W-Well... I might have pulled some strings..." Makoto said vaguely.

"And what does that mean?"

"Well, I... I might have asked Rin to take you..."

Haru knew that tone. He was holding something else back. "And?"

"I... Um. Bought you a ticket. But it's fine! It's not a big deal-"

"You _what_?" Haru's eyes widened. He quickly calmed himself and set that issue aside for later. He wanted to be happy right now; They just made up, after all. "Never mind... But you shouldn't waste your money on me..."

"It's not wasting! Besides, I wanted to."

Haru sighed in defeat and chose to let it go for now. But he knew he _would_ be paying Makoto back whether he liked it or not. "I miss you." He said softly.

"I miss you too, babe. It's unbearable without you here." Makoto said so sympathetically.

"I want to go home..." The smaller boy grumbled.

Makoto chuckled softly. "Aw, sweetheart. I know, but at least try to have fun, okay? It's not everyday that you get to visit a different country."

"What's the point if Makoto's not here?" Haru wondered out loud.

He could hear Makoto's breathing stop at his tiny, affectionate statement.

"Haru..." There was a soft giggle. "You're too cute."

Haru smiled and closed his eyes at the familiar sound. He let Makoto's adorable doting and pampering wash over him. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

There was a short silence, but it didn't feel awkward. Haru was content in just feeling Makoto's presence. Just knowing that he was thinking of him, just knowing that their relationship _wasn't_ in shambles, just knowing that they _could_ healthily work out their problems.

The brunette's voice suddenly broke the quietness. "And Haru... About what I said the other day... I... I didn't mean to-"

"That can wait." Haru broke him off. _That_ was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now.

Makoto sighed in acceptance. "Okay, but I just want you to know that... I'm not leaving you, okay? I would _never_ leave you like that. So you don't need to worry. We can talk about the details later, but you just need to know that."

Haru felt his heart flutter. Of _course_. Makoto wouldn't leave him. He should have known. He felt like for the first time since their fight, he could finally breathe.

Haru sighed a little too loudly.

His boyfriend continued. "And when you get back, nothing is going to change between us, okay? Everything is going to be okay. We can cuddle and I'll run you a bath and eat mackerel and go to the aquarium and do anything you want."

Those were the words that finally broke the dam. Haru's eyes filled with tears at just how unbelievably _lucky_ he was. Makoto was an _angel._ There was an ache in his chest at how _much_ he missed those innocent green eyes. He wanted so _badly_ just to be able to hold him.

He sniffled a little too loudly. "O-Okay."

"Oh, Haruka, please don't cry! It's only one more day, right? I'll still be here, babe. Nothing will change."

There it was. That use of his full name that made his cheeks heat up so much, but at the same time made him feel so at ease. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Haru's lips curved into a tiny smile by themselves. He wiped his eyes just as Rin walked through the door.

"Oh, Haru! I didn't realize how late it is! I should probably let you go to sleep."

Haru checked the clock and realized that it _was,_ in fact, late. His heart sunk painfully. He would much rather talk to Makoto then go to bed, but he knew that his boyfriend would want him to get enough rest.

"I'm fine." Almost immediately, a conspicuous yawn escaped his mouth, betraying his words.

Makoto chuckled softly. "Mhm. You have a big day tomorrow, you should sleep."

Haru sighed in protest, but knew that he would not win. "Fine."

"Goodnight, babe. I love you."

"Goodnight. I love you too."

"Sweet dreams."

"You too."

"Bye, Haru. See you soon, have fun, okay?"

"Bye. I'll try. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Almost immediately after the words left his mouth, Rin took his phone back and ended the call.

Haru's eyes narrowed. "What was that for?"

"If I didn't, it would have gone on forever. I don't need you running up my phone bill." Rin sighed. "I guess it went pretty good?"

Haru sighed and collapsed onto the bed, not even capable of being angry right now. "Yeah."

Rin snickered. "You're blushing like a schoolgirl! Makoto must be quite the charmer."

The raven haired boy lifted a hand to his cheek to find that he was, indeed, blushing a little too obviously. Even so, he was too captured in bliss to care. "I don't care. And yes, he is." Haru replied frankly.

His boyfriend was an _angel_. Haru's heart filled with satisfaction that they recovered from this fight so _quickly_. It didn't mean that they weren't meant for each other at all; It meant that the universe was trying to test them.

But _nothing_ could shake their love.

Haru took the very edge of the left side of the bed, turning his body completely away from Rin and the red haired boy did the same on the other side.

"We. _Never_. Speak. Of this." Rin said through clenched teeth. " _Especially_ not to Sousuke."

"Agreed."

There was a long silence after that. Haru was on the verge of sleep when he heard a voice next to him.

"And... Haru... What I said at regionals... I... didn't mean it like that..."

"It's in the past." Haru tried to end the conversation. He didn't want to think about that, especially not now when he's trying to sleep and not think about how close his body is to Rin's, how _Makoto_ would feel-

He scooted closer to the edge of the bed.

"I know, but... I... I just want to help you figure out what to do, since... You know..."

There was a pause. Although he didn't say it, Haru knew what Rin wanted to say.

 _Since you did the same for me._

"It's not like you owe me anything. You're my friend, after all..." Haru felt his cheeks heat up at saying such a cheesy thing.

"I know but... I want to."

"I don't think anyone can help me. I'm just..." He searched for the word. "Overwhelmed."

"Listen, Haru... I would understand if you didn't want to swim professionally... But if it _is_ what you really want to do, I think it would be good for you. And you shouldn't be afraid to try it."

"I'm not afraid." Haru responded defensively, but he knew it wasn't true. He was _terrified._

Rin 'tch'ed and went on. "What I'm saying is that if you're passionate about swimming, go for it. Don't let anything hold you back if it's what you want. It's _your_ future. It's not Makoto's, or mine, or anyone else's. It's about _you_."

Haru's thoughts were conflicted at that statement. He knew Rin was right. It was about what he wanted. He knew his friends would support him no matter what he did, but he also knew that he would not be entering the same world as some of them. And no one, not even Makoto, would be able to help him in the world of competitive swimming.

It would be up to him to help himself.

And in that world, Rin would be more than a friendly rival, but a threat to his career.

But Rin was right, it was _his_ life, _his_ future, _his_ decision.

And a nagging part of Haru's mind that he just couldn't shake _knew_ that he wanted to swim.

"I'll think about it."

Rin didn't say anything else after that so Haru supposed he was finally going to sleep. Haru sighed. He had a _lot_ to think about, but he felt like he might actually get some sleep tonight, knowing that back in Iwatobi, Makoto was thinking about him too.

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 **Next Chapter: Fireworks**


	14. Fireworks

**(Makoto's POV)**

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Makoto stood in the airport, keeping watch for jet black hair and sapphire blue eyes. He turned his head and saw black hair, and was excited for a split second until he realized that this person was _much_ too tall and broad to be Haru. He sighed in disappointment. The teal eyed person turned his face and Makoto realized that it was...

"Sousuke!" Makoto waved.

Sousuke looked around for a while until he saw the brunette calling his name. "Hey, Makoto."

Makoto walked over to him, wearing a cheery smile. "Are you here waiting on Rin?"

The taller boy looked away with a faint blush. "I guess..."

Makoto chuckled warmly. "I'm waiting on Haru. I hope they had fun."

"Yeah."

Suddenly, Makoto caught sight of two unmistakable blue eyes from the crowd and a red mop of hair next to him. "Haru!" He called to him, waving his arm. "Rin!" Sousuke called.

The raven haired boy looked around frantically to find the source, and starting running at full speed when he found him, and Rin did the same to Sousuke.

Makoto opened his arms in preparation for a hug, but Haru dropped his bags and _flung_ himself on the the brunette. He wrapped his arms around the taller boy's neck, and his legs around Makoto's waist. Makoto giggled and snaked his arm around Haru's back to hold him up. They both promptly ignored the few stares in their direction.

"Makoto. I love you." Haru said into his ear. He then started kissing him over and over on the cheek, nose, neck, and anywhere he could get to, making Makoto chuckle.

"Haru, I love you too." The taller boy nuzzled into Haru's neck. "I'm so glad you're back. I think I would've gone insane if you had stayed any longer."

Haru gave a tiny, dopey smile. "Mm. Me too."

"Oh! Haru, I got you something!" Makoto awkwardly shifted in attempt to reach his backpack while still holding Haru. The smaller boy reluctantly unwrapped himself from Makoto to stand on the ground. Makoto unzipped his bag and pulled out a big plush dolphin, handing it to Haru. "I couldn't help but think of you when I saw it..." He shyly rubbed the back of his neck.

Haru stared at the adorable toy in pure wonder. "Makoto... I..." He suddenly busted into a soft giggle fit. His eyes were watering and Makoto couldn't tell if it was from laughing or from high emotions.

"W-what?" Makoto tilted his head to the side.

Haru tucked the dolphin under his arm and reached into his bag to pull out a huge stuffed orca and handed it to Makoto.

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They both knew that Haru should probably be unpacking, but cuddling on Haru's couch in pajamas and a warm blanket proved to be much more appealing. Makoto talked himself into it, reasoning that he could afford one more day of loafing around, and besides, Haru was probably tired from his trip. So Haru rested comfortably in Makoto's lap, laying his head on his broad chest, and occasionally planting a kiss where his heart was. Makoto smiled fondly and kissed the top of Haru's head, rubbing soothing circles into the smaller boy's back.

And just a few days ago, he'd been worried sick that the raven haired boy didn't love him.

But was he still?

Makoto knew that with how sweet and kind Haru had been to him, it was obvious that he loved him. But still... It was too good to be true. Why would someone like Haru waste his time on someone like himself? It made no sense, but he definitely was not going to bring it up again and risk having a _blowout_ like that again. But for the time being, it seemed that Haru was going to stay by his side, for whatever unknown reason.

"Makoto..." Haru was tracing gently on his chest.

"Mhm, what is it, babe?" Makoto combed Haru's hair out of his face to get a good look at those beautiful blue eyes he missed so much.

"We need to talk, _for real_ this time." The smaller boy said firmly, lifting his head up to meet Makoto's eyes.

Makoto was a little stirred by this sudden seriousness, but went along with it, nevertheless. "Okay."

Haru sat up a little straighter, so Makoto did the same. Haru took a deep breath and then held one of Makoto's hands with both of his.

"Makoto. We have to tell each other everything. Every fear, every insecurity, every secret, every feeling; Everything. No more of this, 'pushing down emotions so we won't hurt the other,' because it obviously has an opposite effect. We can't just pretend like our feelings don't exist and just wait for them to blow up." Makoto could see tears glistening in his blue eyes and his voice got softer. "We're a team, Makoto... And what is a team if they don't communicate? What is a team if they let one member carry all the weight? We can't be afraid to tell each other that something is bothering us... You can tell me everything... You know that..."

Makoto's eyes widened. That was probably about how much Haru spoke over the course of a _week._ The fact that Haru said so much to make a single point, really meant that this was something _extremely_ important and necessary. "Haru..." He murmured. "I... I agree. We can't let that happen again." Makoto shifted his hand, which was still being held by Haru's, and entwined their fingers.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Haru's lips. "Good. I... I'll start, then..." A dark pink tint filled his cheeks, so he stared down at his and Makoto's interlocked hand. "When I saw the acceptance letter in your mailbox... I was terrified. It felt like you were trying to abandon me. I thought you didn't want me to find out. I thought you wanted to find someone else at college and forget about me..."

Makoto gasped and sat up completely. "That's not true at all! Haru, I would never do that! I didn't tell you because I hadn't even decided myself, and I was going to ask you if... if..." He took a deep breath. Was he really about to say this? Haru definitely would not be up for moving so far away from home, and Makoto wasn't even sure if he was either. But he remembered what Haru said: They had to tell each other _everything_. "I-I just thought that, if you didn't know what to do, then, Tokyo has a lot of opportunities, you know? I just thought that maybe, you would want to... come with me..." Makoto felt even more stupid with every word. There was no way Haru would want to do that, and now he just made everything awkward.

Haru looked up, and his mouth was in the shape of a tiny 'o', sapphire eyes wide.

Makoto panicked. "But it's fine if you don't want to! I don't even know yet, so it's fine! I won't-"

"Makoto. Don't freak out. That sounds like an option." Haru smiled with obvious relief.

The brunette froze. "What? It... does? You don't have to lie if-"

"Makoto, I'm not lying. I'm not opposed."

"It... doesn't bother you? Being so far from home?"

There was a short silence. Haru blushed and kept his gaze fixed on their hands.

"It does. That's why I'm coming with you."

Makoto's jaw dropped. That meant... _he_ was Haru's home.

"Come here." Makoto pulled Haru closer into his arms and rubbed his back. "Haru, I love you so much." He kissed his cheek tenderly. "We can talk about it more later, okay? We can decide on something _together_."

Haru nodded and nuzzled into the embrace. "Okay. But now it's your turn."

Makoto sighed and scratched his cheek. "Well, um. I just... Really don't understand why you would choose me. I had kind of just forgotten it after we started dating, and then... I ran into Kisumi in the store..." The way Haru twitched when he said Kisumi did not go unnoticed. "And he started saying all these things about how everyone knew that you liked Rin... and that I was just a tool."

Haru's hand clenched into a fist. "And _why_ ," It was obvious he was trying to keep a reign on his blistering fury. (And probably plotting Kisumi's demise.) He took a deep breath. "Why would you trust _him_?"

"It's not that I trust him... But what he said made sense... I-I didn't want to believe it, but... Why else would you stay with me?"

Haru shook his head in desperation, putting Kisumi aside for now. "Makoto... Why can't you see how perfect you are? How does it not make sense to you? It's _you_ that's always saved me. It's _you_ that cared about me when no one else did. It's _you_ that has always been the constant source of happiness to everyone around you. _You've_ been the only one I've ever wanted, and the only one I can honestly say... That I want to stay with forever... I want you to understand, Makoto. _I'm_ the one that's unworthy. _I'm_ the one that always needs to be saved..." His blue eyes now overflowed with tears.

"H-Haru! No, that's not true at all!" He cradled Haru's head into his chest in attempt to soothe his crying. "That's not true." He murmured over and over.

Haru lifted his chin up to reveal his teary blue eyes. Makoto inhaled sharply at the sight because he was just _so beautiful_. His sapphire orbs conveyed so much sincerity and affection, Makoto felt his heart flutter beneath his ribcage.

"Haru..."

"Makoto is the only one I love. If you don't believe me... I want you to know that _I'm yours_." He closed his eyes in defeat. "I belong to you, Makoto. Only you."

Makoto's heart stopped _completely_ at that. Haru would never had said that _in any other_ circumstance. Haru was a person who deeply valued freedom and independence, and here he was, blatantly giving himself up.

For _Makoto._

So... Why?

Could it really be... that maybe there _was_ something special about himself, however small that something might be?

Makoto would probably never understand, but he had to trust Haru.

"Haruka." The raven haired boy slowly opened his eyes at his full name. "How can I own you if I already belong to you?"

Haru covered his face with his hands to hide the adorable surprised expression he wore.

"Thank you, Makoto." He said softly.

The brunette shook his head.

Haru fidgeted with his fingers. "Um... Another thing is..." The smaller boy looked deeply troubled by whatever it was. "And... I'm sorry, Makoto..." He bit his lip as his brows pulled together.

"Sweetheart, you can tell me anything." Makoto pulled him closer and tried to keep an even tone despite his rising panic. What could make Haru so worried? Why would he be sorry?

"I-I didn't want to, Makoto, I swear! But I had to!" His lip was quivering. Makoto even felt himself trembling. "When I was in Australia... Rin and I had to share a bed!" Haru's eyes were still closed. "I swear I didn't like it and I turned the other way all night and I went straight to sleep and I didn't touch him at all and I'm so sorry, Makoto!"

"That... That's what you were so worked up about?"

Haru nodded slightly, eyes still clouded with guilt. "I'm sorry..." He repeated in utter despair.

Makoto felt so relieved that he started giggling. He nestled Haru against his chest as he breathed heavily, anxiety diminished.

"You're... not upset?"

"Of course not. I trust Haru-chan."

He felt Haru noticeably relax against his chest, no longer tense with worry. "Oh."

"Anything else?"

"Um... One more thing..." Haru straightened himself up and took a deep breath. "I-I think I want to swim, Makoto. I'm... I'm going to try at least."

Makoto's eyes lit up. "Haru, that's great! I'm so happy for you!" He wrapped his arms around the raven haired boy and kissed his cheek.

"I don't know, though... If it doesn't work out..." Haru looked deeply conflicted, it elicited a pang of despair from Makoto's heart. He would do anything to take away Haru's pain.

"Oh Haru...It'll be okay... I'll figure something out. If... If it comes to that, I could get another job or something. It'll be okay, I promise."

"But I don't want that!" Haru's voice suddenly rose. "I don't want you to have to do that... " And then, almost a whisper. "I don't want to be a burden..." He stared down at his hands looking dejected.

" _Haruka Nanase_!" Makoto exclaimed, making Haru jump and look up at him. "Don't you _dare_ ever think you're a burden to me." He held the smaller boy tight to emphasize his point. "I was just saying that you shouldn't worry about if swimming doesn't work out, because I'll be here for you, okay? You could never, _ever_ be a burden."

Those words were enough to make Haru tear up and clutch onto Makoto for dear life. They stayed like that for a long time, with Haru's head on Makoto's chest and Makoto's large hands rubbing soothing circles into Haru's back. The brunette sighed, supposing their feeling spill was over. Boy, was that an emotional rollercoaster. But Haru was right, it was necessary, and he felt a lot better now.

The raven haired boy was still pressed against his chest, now seemingly more at ease. Makoto couldn't help but feel awful for his poor boyfriend; The decision he had to make was by no means an easy one. But it wasn't healthy for him to be so stressed out and over think everything.

"Hey, Haru." Makoto gently nudged Haru's chin up.

"Mm?"

"You know, there's a firework show tonight at the festival. I-I mean... If you're not tired, or if you just don't feel like it-"

Haru's lips perked up a little bit, and his blue eyes brightened. "Makoto... That sounds great."

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"Wow, it's really pretty out tonight!" Makoto stared out into the ocean from the pier.

Haru smiled softly and nodded in agreement.

They both leaned against the railing, admiring the clear night sky casting a faint light out into the dark sea and the tents and festival goers below. The two were in a more secluded part of the festivities, which Makoto knew Haru was thankful for. He could tell the raven haired boy would much rather be away from the hustle and bustle of the festival while still being able to appreciate the fireworks.

But this small, private place filled Makoto with an indescribable feeling of affection. Suddenly, the memory was clear.

"Do you remember?" Haru asked quietly, as if reading his thoughts.

The taller boy smiled gently. "Of course."

"We were right here, too." Haru reminisced fondly.

Makoto was a little taken aback at how lightly Haru spoke of the bittersweet moment, but happy, nonetheless.

It was last year at an event similar to the present one. Haru had just gained knowledge that Rin was at the festival, and had admitted to Makoto that after racing Rin, everything felt dark. Makoto remembered the crushing pain he felt at those words. But then, Haru went on to declare that he _still_ loved swimming with his team, and he _still_ wanted to swim the relay despite his uncertain and conflicting feelings. It was the night Haru chose his friends over letting doubt rule him and hold him back.

And although Makoto felt guilty for even thinking it, he couldn't deny that it felt like Haru chose _him._

Of course he remembered that moment.

"I chose you, Makoto..." Haru murmured. Makoto's eyes widened at that statement. Haru _must_ be reading his mind.

"Haru..." Was all Makoto could say.

The shorter boy blushed as he took Makoto's hand into his own and interlaced their fingers.

"Makoto, if it's what you want, you need to go to Tokyo." Haru said softly, but his tone was firm.

Makoto did not like the sound of this and panicked. "H-Haru, no! I want you!-"

Haru gently squeezed his hand to soothe him and quietly shushed him. "I know, I _know_ , Makoto. But listen, Tokyo is a once in a lifetime opportunity-"

"I don't care! Haru is more important!" He captured Haru in a tight embrace, on the verge of a panic attack. "I'm not leaving you! _Never!_ " He held the smaller boy as close as possible with trembling hands and tears in the corners of his eyes. He couldn't even _imagine_ being in Tokyo without Haru. Without _anyone._ A gigantic city like that, thousands of unfamiliar faces, the never ending hustle and bustle that was so different from everything he's ever known. No college was worth that to him. No college was worth the sleepless nights he would face missing his hometown, the depression of being without Haru, day after empty day, for _four whole years_. There was no telling how much he would miss in that time period, how much Haru will have grown up, how much Makoto _will never know happened_. The thought made his stomach lurch violently, and he was sure he would have thrown up right there if Haru hadn't put his tender hand on his face to calm him down.

Haru stroked his skin in a calming way, wiping away the tears that streamed from his dull green eyes. "Calm down, Makoto. I wasn't telling you to leave me." He said sweetly. Makoto was so glad he had someone as patient as Haru to soothe him when he had sudden anxiety attacks like that. Haru lifted his head up to kiss the taller boy's tear stained cheek. "I'm sorry I made you panic like that... That's not what I meant." Haru kissed his cheek again to further calm him.

Makoto felt his heart rate slow down to a normal pace. "O-Oh. I-I'm sorry." He apologized, now feeling stupid for panicking over nothing.

"Don't be. It's my fault. I shouldn't have worded it like that. What I meant was..."

Haru took a deep breath and entwined their fingers again. "I'm coming with you, Makoto. Wherever you go, I'm following you. I still choose you, Makoto. I'll _always_ choose you."

The brunette's mouth gaped and his green eyes were awestruck, blush filling his cheeks.

"Haruka..." He said tenderly, just barely audible. Tears immediately refilled his eyes and he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, holding him close to his chest. His emotions right now we're so raw that all he could stutter was, "I love you."

"I love you, Makoto." Right as the words left Haru's lips, a giant flash of green and blue sparks filled the night sky above the ominous ocean.

Makoto put his arms on Haru's waist and Haru put his around Makoto's neck. The taller boy leaned down to meet Haru's face, and gently pressed their lips together, just as another twinkle of fireworks filled the air.

It was _perfect._

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 **Final Chapter: Forever and Always**


	15. Forever and Always

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 **Makoto and Haru finally picked out an apartment in Tokyo together.**

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Makoto carried the last box from the hallway into the living room in their quaint new apartment. "That's the last one!" He announced cheerfully.

The brunette found Haru in the kitchen, already putting away bowls, plates, and cups into the cabinets. He realized fondly that Haru was straining to reach the very top shelf.

The taller boy came behind him and gently placed his hands on Haru's hips as if to tell him to stop struggling. Haru sighed in defeat, realizing that he couldn't reach it no matter how much he stretched, and came down from his tip toes.

"Here." Makoto smiled tenderly and held out his hand to take the plates Haru wanted to put up there.

The shorter boy sighed again and handed the dishes to Makoto, who, of course, reached the top shelf with ease. When the brunette was finished, he chuckled softly when he saw Haru's pout.

"I'm too short." He grumbled.

"No, no, don't be silly. Haru is _perfect_." Without warning, Makoto captured Haru in a hug and left tiny kisses all over his face until Haru started giggling too.

After their laughing subsided, they stayed like that for a long time, with Makoto's arms around Haru, and Haru's head on his shoulder.

Suddenly, knocking on the door cut into the peaceful silence.

"Who could that be?" The smaller boy couldn't help but grumble. They had just moved here a couple weeks ago after all and didn't know anyone, so why would someone be bothering them now?

Makoto's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "I don't know... I'll get it." He reluctantly removed his arms from his raven haired boyfriend and went to the door, hearing excited chattering outside.

The taller boy cautiously opened the door, Haru following closely behind. He slowly twisted the knob.

"SURPRISE!"

A familiar blonde boy jumped up enthusiastically, throwing a handful of confetti into the air. Behind him was the rest of the group; Rei, Rin, and even Sousuke.

"W-What?! You guys came all this way just to see us?" Makoto was BEYOND surprised. Haru was silent, but his mouth was slightly parted in astonishment and his blue eyes contained a particular sparkle that conveyed pure _happiness._

"Of course we did! We _had_ to check on our Haru-chan and Mako-chan!" Nagisa was practically bursting with joy, magenta eyes sparkling with livelihood. The energetic blonde hugged Makoto and Haru both tightly.

"I would like to clarify that the confetti was not originally part of the plan, and certainly not my idea." Rei shot a glare at Nagisa, which everyone knew didn't contain the slightest hint of anger.

Makoto laughed at the comforting familiarity of his bickering friends, and he could tell Haru was comforted too. For a minute, Makoto even forgot that they were in the big and scary Tokyo instead of their quiet hometown.

"Whatever Rei-chan, you know you love me!" Nagisa hugged the taller blue haired boy to prove his point.

"Well... Come on in!" Makoto moved out of the way to let their friends in. The group immediately marveled at how much they had already done to the place.

Makoto talked with Nagisa, Rei, and Sousuke about his university, while Rin and Haru broke away for a while.

"So Haru... Do you know what you're going to do yet?" Rin tried to ask nonchalantly, but Haru could hear the hope behind it.

"I'm going to swim for now... But if it doesn't work... Who says I can't do something else?"

He saw tension drain from Rin's shoulders in relief. "Glad to hear that."

Haru thought Rin was idiot.

"Rin... You don't need to feel like you owe me anything. We're _friends._ The past is in the past."

His red eyes widened at this statement, although it was the same as what he said that night in Australia.

"I know... But I..." Rin looked down and exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck in a shameful way. "I was a real jerk to you guys last year... I just want to try to make it up somehow..." His face was full of unbearable regret.

"I get it, Rin... We all get it." Haru was fully aware that what he was saying was the cheesiest thing that anyone besides Makoto has ever heard him say, but he had no time for embarrassment. Rin needed to hear this. "That wasn't the real you then, and we _understand_. None of us think of you like that. You don't have to keep trying to prove yourself and pay us back because we already know who you really are... If we didn't care about you, then we would've gotten rid of you a long time ago." Only after Haru had finished did he realize just _how_ cheesy that actually was, and heat flooded to his cheeks.

It looked like it got to Rin though, he could tell that the red haired boy was trying his hardest not to tear up. "T-Thanks." He coughed to cover up his wavering voice.

Sousuke just happened to look over and see this scene, to which he did not respond kindly to. The tall raven haired boy stalked over to them. "Nanase. Why the hell is Rin crying?" He loomed over the smaller boy.

Makoto saw this and quickly came over to help keep the peace. "Now, now, let's calm down-"

"I don't know. Maybe just because he cries a lot." Haru shrugged, unfazed by Sousuke's intensity.

"Oi, you cry more than me, asshole! In Australia you couldn't stop sobbing about how much you missed Makoto!"

Haru blushed furiously as he saw Makoto's face do the same and his green eyes widened. That's it; Rin went _too_ far.

"Speaking of which, have you told _Sousuke_ about our hotel arrangement in Australia yet?" Haru hissed.

By this point, Makoto was practically the color of a tomato and held his hands over his mouth in shock.

Rin's mouth also dropped wide open as his face changed to the color of his hair. "Son of a-"

"What hotel arrangement?" Sousuke's teal eyes narrowed.

A lot of awkward explaining later, Sousuke was, as expected, _mad._ Not just mad, but _blistering fury._ Fortunately though, Rin easily subdued him by explaining that it was the only option and of course he missed him the whole time.

"I barely got any sleep anyways, with _Haru_ talking in his sleep. 'Makoto, I love you! Makoto I miss you! Please marry me, Makoto!' " Rin did his best impression of a lovestruck school girl, much to Haru's annoyance. Meanwhile, Makoto held his face in his hands, looking particularly bashful.

"Oh please, don't think I didn't hear you bawling all night about how much you missed your 'precious Sou-chan'." Haru shot back, still blushing from Rin's statement.

Sousuke smirked a little bit and raised an eyebrow at Rin, making the red haired boy's face burn.

"If anyone was crying, it was you!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

Makoto chuckled a little bit and put his hands up as if asking them to both surrender. "Okay, okay. Let's drop it. Besides... I'm getting kind of hungry." The brunette smoothly changed subjects.

Nagisa perked up at this, who had previously been watching Rin and Haru's embarrassing spill. "Ooh! Me too! Aren't they supposed to have really good food in Tokyo? Let's go out to eat!"

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After they went out to eat, their friends had to get to the train station. Nagisa was on the brink of crying and even Rei was holding back tears. Makoto couldn't say that he wasn't either. Having his friends around again made it feel like he was back home again, even if it was for such a short time. A little time was better than no time, and there was no telling when they would all get to be together like this again between all their busy schedules.

"You guys better keep in touch with us! We all need to group text _everyday_ and we have to meet up at least once every two months!" Nagisa demanded, voice shaking slightly. Rei noticed and held his hand.

Makoto and Haru glanced at each other and smiled slightly; A sad smile. Those expectations were unrealistic of course, but they agreed still.

The brunette chuckled softly. "Well... We'll try our best, okay?"

The magenta eyed boy nodded, apparently slightly pacified at that agreement, but sorrow still lurked in his expression. "Iwatobi just isn't the same without Haru-chan and Mako-chan..." He said barely above a whisper.

Makoto a pang of sadness pound in his heart. It was so uncharacteristic of Nagisa to look so down, it would make even a heart of stone feel sympathy for him.

"... We miss you guys..." Haru said quietly.

Nagisa's tears finally overflowed at those words and he hugged Haru and Makoto until Rei too started crying, then Makoto, then Rin. What a sight it was, a group of teenage boys sobbing violently and hugging in the middle of a busy train station.

"We'll always be together, no matter what." Makoto struggled to compose himself. "No matter where we go, we're all still a team, right?"

Everyone smiled a little, even if it was a bit sad, there was also hope.

"Right!" Nagisa cheered, energy picking back up.

"Thanks, you guys... For coming. It meant a lot." Makoto smiled gently and subtly entwined his hand with Haru's.

Rei shook his head. "The pleasure was ours. Or as Nagisa said, 'We had to check on our Haru-chan and Mako-chan.' " He smiled politely, tear stains still present on his cheeks.

Soon, their train arrived, filling the boys with dread.

"Well... I guess this is goodbye for now." Makoto rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

Nagisa gave them each one last hug before grabbing Rei's hand and they all exchanged final goodbyes. As they were walking to their train, Sousuke turned around. "And uh... Haru... You've got potential. Don't waste it."

Haru's mouth went dry. He was so sure Sousuke hated his guts; The guy had never even called him by his first name before and had just an hour ago accused him of making Rin cry. He nodded nevertheless. "Yeah, Sousuke."

Sousuke put his arm around Rin's shoulders and they all got on the train, waving to each other before it finally took off; Out of sight.

They stood there for a while longer, just staring at where their friends used to be.

Makoto sighed. "Well, I guess we shou-" When he glanced over at Haru's face, he realized that his raven haired boyfriend was _crying._ " _Haru_!"

The taller boy wasted no time in bringing Haru into his arms. "Haru..." Was all he could say. What would make it better? Haru missed his friends. He missed home, and so did Makoto.

And this was all Makoto's fault. If only he had just gone to the community college, then Haru could have stayed home and been happy. But no, he just had to go to this stupid prestigious college and drag his boyfriend along with him. And now here they were, in a city with millions of unfamiliar people and places and only each other to trust. What a _horrible_ idea this was turning out to be; And now his poor boyfriend had to suffer the consequences of his selfish decision.

"I'm so sorry..." Makoto said just above a whisper.

Haru slowly lifted his head from Makoto's chest. "What?"

"I dragged you into this... I've been so selfish. I'm sorry." Makoto hung his head in shame.

A look of disgust appeared on Haru's face. "Idiot, Makoto! You idiot!" His voice was as angry as it could be with having just been crying. "This was _my_ choice. I _wanted_ to come with you. We decided on this _together._ And I would _never_ regret it." He said firmly, determination in his teary blue eyes.

"But..." Makoto began.

"I'm fine... I just... I miss them." He admitted. "But it's okay. We'll see them again, and this will be good for us."

Makoto nodded, trying to believe it himself. He wanted to believe that this _would_ be for the best, but Makoto found it extremely difficult to believe that _anything_ that made his precious boyfriend cry was for the best. What he wouldn't give to take away all of Haru's pain, everything weighing him down. He held Haru tighter and kissed the top of his head.

But as long as he had Haru, everything would be okay.

"As long as I have Makoto, everything will be okay." Haru said softly, as if reading Makoto's thoughts.

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 **One month later...**

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Haru stood at the stove, making some curry, rice, and mackerel for supper and impatiently waiting for Makoto to come home. Haru usually got home before Makoto, after all. He didn't take as many classes as Makoto but swim practice and tournaments did take up most of his time. Even so, Makoto got home later due to all his classes, studying, and occasionally from his part time job as a babysitter. He still had the job although Haru insisted he didn't need it between their parents sending them money, and from the medals Haru won at his tournaments. But Makoto liked it, and it _did_ give them a little extra to work with.

Almost on cue, there was a sound of a key twisting in the doorknob and a click. A spark of excitement surged through him as he half walked-half skipped to the door. He hadn't seen his boyfriend since this afternoon when they had lunch together at his campus.

Makoto set his backpack in the living room just as Haru came in and hugged him tightly. "Welcome home." Haru said softly into Makoto's neck, and the taller boy recognized the genuine affection in his voice.

Makoto hugged him closer to his chest, nuzzling Haru's hair with a relaxed smile. "Mm. I missed you."

"I missed you too." The blue eyed boy said.

Makoto leaned down to cup Haru's face and kiss him gently on the lips. Sure, they hadn't been apart for a long time, but going from seeing each other all day everyday to having to go separate ways for about eight or nine hours, it sure felt like a long time.

They hugged for a while longer, until the rumbling of Makoto's stomach caught Haru's attention. "I made curry, rice, mackerel, and mixed vegetables for supper."

Makoto sighed in bliss. "That sounds really good. I'm starving."

"You should've eaten breakfast this morning." Haru scolded.

Makoto chuckled, a light blush filling his cheeks. "I know, I know. But I was running late."

Haru went into the kitchen and put all the food on the table, and Makoto didn't hesitate to fill up his plate.

Haru sat down at the other end and did the same. "How was your day?"

"Eh, it was okay... Busy... I've got a really big test in Biology next week." He rubbed his neck.

"You always do fine, Makoto. Even if you don't, it's just one test. If you study, you should do okay, but don't overwork yourself."

Makoto smiled, a loving and gracious and pure Makoto smile that made Haru blush. Haru knew that giving his boyfriend reassurance always helped calm his frantic nerves.

"Thanks, Haru. Anyways, how was your day?"

"Fine. Practice wasn't too bad either." Haru said.

Makoto smiled again, obviously relieved that Haru had a good day. "I'm glad!" The olive haired boy gasped as if remembering something. "Oh! Yeah! Nagisa said that he and Rei were planning on coming down next weekend!"

Haru perked up. "Really?" A small smile graced his lips. He couldn't deny that he was _really_ happy to hear that.

"Yeah! And my parents said something about coming down too as soon as they can get off work!"

Haru's smile grew just a sliver. "That's good." It had been a couple months since he'd seen them too.

Makoto chuckled again. "I thought you'd be happy to hear that! I don't know about Rin and Sousuke, though..." There was a slim chance they would be seeing them anytime soon, with them being in Australia. "Well, we can probably figure something out after the swimming season is over." Makoto decided positively.

Haru nodded in agreement, and went to put his dishes in the sink, Makoto following him.

Something that made Haru uneasy was that today Makoto sure was slumping over a lot. He winced when he popped his back and he was rubbing his neck more than usual.

That was _not_ okay.

After they finished cleaning the dishes, Haru tugged on Makoto's hand, leading him to the bedroom.

"H-Haru what are y-"

"Take off your shirt." The smaller boy commanded.

"W-what?!" A crimson blush flooded to his cheeks.

"Just do it."

Makoto's green doe eyes were wide with confusion, but he obeyed nevertheless.

"Lie down on your stomach."

The olive haired boy laid on the bed, and Haru took a bottle of lotion from the drawer. He lathered it on his hands and Makoto's broad, muscular back. Haru climbed on top of him and straddled his back to get the best angle for the massage.

A blissful sigh escaped the olive haired boy's mouth at the calming sensation. "Oh, Haru, you don't have to-"

"Shh." Haru silenced him.

"Mm, thank you, Haru." Makoto purred.

The raven haired boy blushed. "It's nothing..."

Haru found this to be deeply calming as well. Hell, he might have even enjoyed it more than Makoto. He just focused on eliciting more precious sounds from his boyfriend's beautiful throat. Haru worked out every knot and kink his hand worked over and indulged in the feeling of Makoto's warm, bare skin under his hands. Actually, this wasn't the first time Haru had given Makoto a massage. And surprisingly, it was before they started dating, too. Sometimes after swim practice, Makoto's back used to get sore so Haru would usually rub it for him, no matter how much Makoto blushed and protested. It made Makoto feel better, and that's all that mattered to Haru. He didn't care what people might think about it. Looking back on it, Haru wondered how they hadn't confessed their feelings sooner.

Makoto's gentle voice broke Haru's thoughts. "Mm, you're so good to me, Haru."

Haru's hands faltered for a second at that. "N-not really..."

Makoto slowly lifted himself up and pulled his boyfriend into a sweet embrace, his arms wrapped around Haru's back. "Yes, you are." Makoto said firmly.

"Makoto is good to me..." The smaller boy said softly.

"Not as good as Haru." Makoto said sweetly, still in a dreamlike state from the massage.

"Shut up." Haru said without a hint of menace.

Makoto giggled softly and pulled the covers over both of them, still holding Haru safely against his chest. "Thank you for that, my back feels a lot better."

Haru shook his head and kept his gaze down to hide his blush.

How was it even possible to love someone this much? Haru felt like even more than just every fiber of his being loved Makoto, but every single piece of his universe revolved around him. Every blush, every morning of getting picked out of the bathtub, every night of being tucked safely to his side, every little smile filled with sunshine _just for him_ , every single aspect of his entire life was in every way evident to the undeniable truth that he _loved_ this boy with everything he had.

As if Makoto had been thinking about this too, he smiled and pulled Haru a little closer to whisper in his ear. "I love you, Haruka." He said it just so softly, that his voice tickled his ear and radiated down his spine as if he had just fallen in love with him all over again.

That was how Haru _knew_ Makoto was thinking about it too.

Haru dared to peek a glance at Makoto's face, which was looking down at him with the most affectionate and selfless aura imaginable. He couldn't look away; His beauty was so captivating. Everything about Makoto was beautiful. _Everything_. He hoped Makoto knew this, he wanted to say it but the words couldn't come out. How could he possibly say everything about Makoto that he loved? How could he possibly let Makoto know every feeling of love he ever felt for him? It would be impossible. He could live for a thousand forevers and never run out of things to say about how much he loved Makoto. But there was only one thing he could think of that could even begin to describe it:

"I love you, Makoto."

Makoto stroked Haru's cheek and leaned in close to press their lips together tenderly.

After they broke apart, Haru laid his head down on Makoto's chest and concentrated on the steady rhythm of his heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

"Goodnight, Haru. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight. I love you." Haru repeated, eyelids growing heavier.

The smaller boy was just on the fringes of sleep, but he could clearly make out a whisper. It was soft, gentle, calm.

" _You're my everything_."

A soft kiss was planted on his temple, his whole body enveloped by Makoto's warm presence, his strong arms encircling him in a safe burrow.

Haru tried to say the same, but sleep was slowly overcoming him, so all he could slur was, "You're... mine."

All he heard before he finally gave way to sleep, was Makoto's angelic, quiet laugh.

It was unbelievably, flawlessly, utterly, simply, _perfect_ in every way.

And Haru wondered why he was ever worried about anything in the first place.

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 **The End.**

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Thanks so much for reading this story! I was so humbled by all the support this story got and I really really hope you liked it! My main goal for this story was really to just try to capture Makoto and Haru's (precious cinnamon rolls I'm sorry I put you through so much but it turned out happy so yay) relationship and my interpretation of some things that happened in the show, and it was really fun! It was the longest story I've written so far, so it took a lot of dedication, but I really loved it a lot! I really appreciate feedback of all kinds and I'm open to suggestions of what you guys liked/didn't like or want to see more of! (Or you can just pm to talk about anything like really anything like even just to say hi I'd love to talk to you.) I have a story in the makings that I will get started on soon after I update This Is How I Say I Love You (because omg I haven't updated that in a while and I need to I'm truly sorry to anyone who is waiting) that I think will be really interesting! (Hint: Crossover of Free!/ something else... ;) Anyways, thank you so so so much for everything! You guys really are the best 3

(And btw let's just say Haru made sure Kisumi learned his lesson.)

Bai bai until next time!

\- Faith

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